/ 











\ COMEDY, 




H^y A*-*-"- 




£/^CW on t&mri 




IN FIVE ACTS. 



AS P&FDRMKD AT THE PHILADELPHIA THEATRE. 



BY FREDERICK REYNOLDS 



PHILADELPHIA ; 



PUBLISHED BY THOMAS H. PALMER. 



1822, 




Harvard College L: # 

\ 

r P t?bATEW 

T\TIS PERSONJE. 

FHILADELHIA. 

SirSolomon Cynic Mr. WOrrn. 

Mandeville....' ^J- 

Howard %ood 

Veritas ^ arre '/ 

Realize F ™ 1 ™ 

Robert ««£•• 

OldCopsley Hath-well 

Servants to Sir Solomon Durang, '£c. 

Albina Mandeville Mrs. Wood. 

Mrs. Rigid Simpson. 

Cicely Copsley Jefferson. 

Deborah Franc*. 

SC ENE — Devonshire . 



t / 






m*m<mmmm**mmmm 



ll«MU W00f 



\ ^>, 



THE WILL. 



ACT I. 

scene I — the gate of Mandeville Castle^ and 
view of surrounding country. 

enter mandeville and robert. 

Rob. Joy ! I give you joy, sir ! Once more 
welcome to Mandeville Castle ! Look, sir, 
there stands the old pile, just as we left it four- 
teen years ago. Shall I knock at the gate ? 

Mand. Lose not a moment. {Robert knocks) 
I have travelled far to have the mystery unra- 
velled ; and till I know why I have been thus 
treated — why for three tedious years I have re- 
ceived no letter from my father-— no tidings 
of my child — the interval is insupportable ! 

Rob. Pretty treatment, indeed, sir ; — to bring 
two gentlemen from India' — all the way from the 
shores of Bengal to the coast of Devonshire—- 
only to get an answer to our letters ! 

Mand. Didn't I write by every packet ?— - re- 
gularly remit half my pay for the support of 
my daughter ? — and to receive no answer ! — to 
hear nothing from my father, or Mrs. Rigid, the 
governess of my child ! What, what can be the 
motive for their silence ? In India I have been 



4 THE WILL, [Reynolds 

guilty of no vices, no extravagance ; and if be- 
fore I went, I involved myself in pecuniary em- 
barrassments, was it not to serve a friend ? 

Rob. It was, sir. You became security for 
the ungrateful Mr. Howard; and because he 
took it into his head to die, and leave you res- 
ponsible for twenty thousand pounds — 

Mand. We were compelled to fly to India. 
Well, well, blame not Howard ; if he had lived 
he would have proved himself deserving of my 
friendship. But now, Robert, I am here once 
more in the centre of my creditors ; and if my 
father has forgotten me— knock again, the sus- 
pense is dreadfu!. 

Rob, (knocks) Surely they are all run away, 
or drowned, or hanged — hanged ! I beg pardon^ 
sir ; I only allude to the female part of the fa- 
mily, and I dare say many a fair neck has been 
twisted in consequence of my absence. Not 
come yet ! Nay, don't fret, so, sir ; the worst 
come to the worst, we can but make the same 
exit we did this time fourteen years. 

Mand. How ? 

Rob. Can't you remember our stealing out of 
those gates in disguise ? our being found out by 
the bailiffs, and dodging them so artfully from 
place to place, that by the time they had taken 
out a writ in one county, we were safely perched 
in another ; till at last, after having outwitted 
half the sheriffs'-oflicers and attorneys in Eng- 
land, we secured our retreat by arriving at 
Portsmouth late on a Saturday night, and sail- 
ing for India early on Sunday morning. Ha \ 
ha ! ha 1 I shall never forget the captain's smok- 
ing us, and after dinner giving for a toast. 
" Success to the Sunday men.'* 



Act I] THE WILL. 

Aland. Hush ! who comes here ? Old Realize, 
my father's steward ! Now we shall get infor- 
mation. Observe. 

enter realize and copsley. 

Real. Don't talk to me, you old poacher ; 
Hav'n't you been repeatedly warned off Sir So- 
lomon's manor, and didn't he himself see you 
kill the hare on his ground ? And therefore, at 
Sir Solomon's request, I dismiss you from being 
game-keeper to the Mandeville manors. 

Co/is. Consider, consider, Mr. Realize, I am an 
old servant, and am as innocent of poaching— 

Real. You were caught in the fact, and there- 
fore I dismiss you, and appoint in your place— 
{Robert comes up, to him.} 

Rob. Me, Mr. Steward ! honest Bob Tick- 
well ! How are you, my old friend ? how are 
you ? Here we are, you see— -hot from Bengal ! 

Real. Why, it can't be ! — Yes, it is ! The 
long look'd-for come at last ! Huzza ! 

Mand. Realize, I am glad to see you. 

Real. So am I to see you ; and so will sir 
Solomon ; and so will all the neighbours. 

Rob. There ! I said so 1 I knew we should 
have a joyous welcome ! Come ! open wide the 
castle gates, and prepare the wine, the venison — 

Real. Open wide the prison gates, and pre- 
pare the bread and water ! — Mr. Mandeville, {to 
Mand.} sir, I'll trouble you for that two hun- 
dred pounds you owe me ! 

Rob. Psha ! this isn't a proper time — 

Real. Where is my money, sir ? 

Rob. Nonsense i His father will satisfy you ! 
Come! we'll all pay the old gentleman a visit 
together, (laying hold of Realize* a ami) 
A 2 



6 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Real. Softly, master Robert ; you may both 
go to the old gentleman as soon as you like ; 
but, for me, I don't intend to pay him a visit 
these twenty years. 

Mand. No ! why where is he ? 

Real. Where, I can't exactly say, only I fancy 
you are about as far from him now as when you 
were hot in Bengal. 

Mand. What, is he gone abroad ? 

Real. No ; he's gone home ; — he's dead— -de- 
funct,— -was buried twelve months ago. 

Mand. Dead ! my father dead ! I didn't ex- 
pect this. (putting his handkerchief to his eyes} 

Rob. No more did I, sir. — Oh ! h I h \ 

(%vec fling violently} 

Real. Why, what's the milksop crying at ? 

Rob. I'm crying to think what trouble old Mr. 
Mandeville's death will occasion to my poor 
master ; what a fatigue it will be to collect in 
all the rents, to pay his debts, to discharge you, 
and appoint me steward in your place, Oh ! h ! h ! 

Real. Indeed ! if that's all that afflicts you, 
dry up your tears, booby; your master is disin- 
herited. 

Rob. Disinherited ! 

Real. Cut off with a shilling. Mr. Mandeville 
has left his whole estate to a woman 

Rob. A woman ! O, the old profligate ! 

Real. To your child, sir, (to Mandeville) to 
his own grand-daughter. 

Mand. To Albina ! 

Rob. Bravo ! then it comes to the same point : 
my master of course manages the property, and 
I'm steward still. 



Act Ij THE WILL. 7 

Real. There you're out again. I rather think 
Mrs. Rigid will manage the property. I rather 
imagine the young heiress will be ruled by the 
old governess ; and as you have been no friend 
to her, Mr. Mandeville — 

Aland. No friend to her ! How ? 

Real. Nay, perhaps you may call it friendship 
to leave her to support your daughter at her own 
expense ; perhaps you may call it friendship 
not to write any letters, or remit any money for 
three years together. 

Mand. Go on, sir ; let me know all. 

Real. Why then you may know, that Mrs. 
Rigid informed the late Mr. Mandeville of your 
unfatherlike conduct ; that he invited her and 
his grand-daughter to his house, and taking a 
fancy to Miss Albina, he made her his heiress. 
There — now you've heard the whole story ; and 
I shall call it friendship if you'll pay me my two 
hundred poiinds. 

Mand. Not write letters ! not remit money ! 
hear me, sir. 

Real. Not now. The heiress is expected 
from Dover every moment, and I must go and 
prepare the castle for her reception. Come 
along, poacher ; come and deliver your keys to 
your successor — I'll take out a writ directly, 
and he sha'n't slip through my fir.gers a second 
time — {aside) No more disguises, Mr. Mande- 
ville ; no more Sunday-men, Mr. steward. Oh, 
what trouble will the old gentleman's death oc- 
casion to my poor master ! {mimicking Robert, 
and exit with Co/isley at the castle gate) 

Rob. Now all's out, sir. No wonder at our 
not receiving answers, when they say we sent; 



8 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

no letters. Oh that diabolical governess ! I al- 
ways said you were to blame, to place your only 
child under her care ; particularly when you 
knew she was once in love with you, and you 
refused her, and married her cousin, Miss Her- 
bert. 

Mand. Oh, name not her ! If my Amelia had 
survived, I should not have been doomed un- 
heard. What? deserted! disinherited ! Is this 
my welcome home ? Am I to find a father 
dead, and dying full of resentment against me ? 
a daughter prejudiced ! nay, perhaps cursing 
my very name, and this governess — speak, sir, 
justify your injured master. 

Rob. I will with my life, sir ; but don't be 
satisfied with Realize's story : let us get infor- 
mation elsewhere. Yonder is the house of Sir 
Solomon Cynic. If the old gentleman hasn't 
fretted away his life by railing at the* follies of 
womankind, perhaps he lives to console and be- 
friend you. Shall we go to him, sir ? 

Mand. Take me where you will, (going, stops) 
Robert, how old was Albina when we last saw 
her ? 

Reb. About four years, sir. 

Mand. And I left her in the fond hope, that 
I might one day find in her a recompense for 
the loss of her mother. And now if I behold her, 
she will avoid, upbraid me ! That thought is 
past all bearing. I'll know the worst, and then 
my fate's decided. They may desert, but they 
shall not despise me. [exeunt 

scene ii — an afiartment in Sir Solomon's house, 
enter sir solomon, followed by cicely. 
'Sir Sol. I tell you it's in vain ; your applica- 



Act I] THE WILL. 9 

lion's useless— you are useless — your whole sex 

vjs useless. 

' Cic. Nay, Sir Solomon — 

Sir Sol. I tell you, women are of no use — none, 
but to nurse children, mend linen, make pud- 

v dings, and beat their husbands. 

^*Cic. But consider, your honour, the hare was 
killed by accident, not by design ; the dogs 
chased it into your grounds ; and I hope Mr. 
Realize won't dismiss my poor father — 

Sir Sol. Keep off, keep within your magic 
circle ; I haven't been within the reach of a wo- 
man these twenty years ; and you are the very 
last I'd suffer to come near me. I have often 
observed you in my walks, often noted your 
mischievous smiles, your penetrating eyes, and 
I don't like them — I say I don't like them — so 
keep your distance. I won't be made a fool of 

K & second time. 

^Cic. A second time, sir Solomon ! 
Sir Sol. Ay; I was once as much in love 
as Mark Antony, and like him I was deserted 
by my Cleopatra. His queen chose a mighty 
conqueror to be false with ; but my Susannah, 
my fantastic Susannah, fixed her affections on a 
dancing-master, a caperer, and ever since I have 
had such a contempt for the sex— (Cicely lays 
hold of his hand) — Holloa ! you touched me ! I. 
feel the shock, Ira electrified, I'm- — What sweet 

£ lips the gipsey has ! 

1 Cic. If you would only pay a visit to our cot- 
tage, and be eye-witness to the distress you will 
occasion ! Your nephew, Mr. Howard, has often 
been there ; and if you would come and imitate 
his charitable conduct, I and my sisters would 
be so grateful — (still keeping hold of his hand) 



10 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Sir Sol. Your sisters ! pooh ! nonsense ! what 
should I do amongst a parcel of young giddy 
romping — hark'ye, are all your sisters as hand- 
some as yourself ? 

" Cic. Handsome ! how you flatter, Sir Solo- 
mon ! 

Sir Sol. I don't : you're the most lovely, most 
bewitching — Susannah was a dowdy to you. 
Look here, now, look at the omnipotence of 
love ! a man is never secure from its influence ; 
and if he lives independent of the sex till he is 
so old and decrepid that he cannot stir from his 
bed, yet then, even then, he may fall a victim to 
'N^its power. 

• Cic. ,r fis Mr. Howard ; now I'll ask him to 
intercede for me. 

Sir Sol. Howard ? so it is, and somebody 
with him : go, don't let us be seen together — 
I'll come to the cottage soon after sun-set ; and 
if the hare was really killed by accident — hush ! 
begone, no caressing, we'll reserve all that for by 
and by — (Cicely exit) So, I have once more the 
true Mark Antony feel. 

enter mandeville and Howard. 

Sir Sol. Hark'ye, George, don't let me hear of 
your paying anymore visits at the gamekeeper's 
cottage ; if I do, a certain young lady shall 
know of your inconstancy, your — K sees Mand.) 
Ha ! who's that ? 

How. A stranger, sir, that — 

Sir Sol. Stranger ! why it's Mandeville ! that 
profligate Mandeville ! What brought you from 
India, sir ? and, after what has passed, how dare 
you show your face in my house ? 



THE WILL. 



11 



Act I] 

Mand. How ! you against me too ! what have 
I done ? 

Sir Sol. What have you not done, sir? HavVt 
you deserted your own child ? hav'n't you left 
the governess to maintain her at her own ex- 
pense ? A 

Mand. 'Tis false : on my life rtis false ! I 
wrote letter after letter, made'vrjepeated remit- 
tances ; till receiving njb answer* and unable to 
endure such torturing Buspaasev I came at all 
hazards to England^Jto kn$>^Jwhy '.'. was so 
harshly treated. L 

(u knowVthat your father 

iress, thztt she is shortly 

Veritas, to this gentle- 

ou ma& ^so know, that I 

ischa^se the late Mr. 



Sir Sol. And 
has made Albina 
to be married to 1 
man's tutor, sir ; an 
expect you instantly to 



Howard's debt for ti 
How. Mr. Howar 
Sir Sol. Yes, sir 
surety. I have his 
as he ought, I'd 
asked him fof\it 

cnte 





elve hundi^ 
s debt*' 
Ir. Iftai 
nd ; a! 
e died rather 
now — ^J 

vant in livery. 



d pounds, 
father's ? 
ville was his 
ad he behaved 
than have 



Serv. Sir, Miss Albina and her governess are 
this moment arrived Vt the castle. 

Sir Sol. Are they ? \i\ll wait upon them di- 
rectly. Mr. Mandevilffc^ don't expect to sea— 
your daughter : for, till she is married to the V 
tutor, Mrs. Rigid means to seclude her from alk S^ 
society : and for you, George Howard, youV^ry 
must not associate with a man of his character. 
Though your father behaved ill to him, remem- 
ber you are not responsible for his ingratitude. 






12 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Now for the castle, next for the cottage, and 
then " All for love, or the World well lost." [exit- 
- Mand. Then all's confirmed, and I've no hope* 
no friend ! What's to be done ? whither shall I 
go ? where fly ? who will receive so lost a 
wretch as I am ? Pursued by enemies, abandon- 
ed by a father, forsaken by my child ! who will* 
who dare befriend me ? ^ 

How. I will. 

Mand. You ! 

How. You have forgo{ me, Mr. Mandeville, 
I see you have. You doi\'t recollect George 
Howard, whom when a** boy you used to take 
such notice of; I'm strangely altered since you 
went to India, that is, in person only, I hope ; 
for m mind and disposition I am still the same. 

Mand. Are you \ 

How. Oh, Mr. Mandevi'lle; I don't know why, 
whether it is from the joy at seeing you, or from 
the grief I feel at the cruej treatment you've re- 
ceived, I don't know which it is, but I'm going 
to be the same blubbering boy you left me. 

Mand. Indeed ! 'Sdeath, this generosity af- 
flicts me more than all their cruelty. Let me 
go ; 1 heard your uncle's orders — " you must 
not associate with a man of his character." Let 
me begone. I will not involve you. 

How. Not involve me ! Didn't my father in- 
volve you I and if I've not the fortune to repay 
the obligation, I'll prove I have the gratitude to 
remember it. From this hour I am devoted to 
your service : and if the friendship of the son 
can atone for the injuries of the parent, I shall 
be far happier in partaking your distresses than 
in sharing my unfeeling unrle.'s richer.. 



Act I] THE WILL. U 

*—»Mand. I am most grateful ; but I cannot con- 
sent — 

How. You must, you shall consent: come, 
come, your case is not so lost as you imagine. 
The governess isn't the only person who has an 
influence over your daughter; there is another — 

Mand. Who ? this tutor ? 

Hotv. No; his pupil. I flatter myself Albina 
has no slight partiality for her father's friend. 

Mand. For you ! how, and where did you 
know her ? 

How. IT1 tell you. When I and my tutor ar- 
rived from the grand tour, we found Albina and 
the governess at Dover. Mr. Veritas and Mrs. 
Rigid being related, we often paid them visits ; 
and while the schoolmaster and schoolmistress 
moralised on the miseries of the world, their two 
scholars as naturally conversed on its pleasures. 
In short, we soon laughed ourselves into an at- 
tachment; which the governess perceiving, Al- 
bina was locked up, I turned out, and the tutor 
destined for her husband. 
-~- Mand. Indeed 1 And did she — forgive my 
weakness, sir — did she once name her father ? 

How. Often ; but the governess has instilled 
into her young mind such notions of your barba- 
rity, and at the same time of her own benevo- 
lence, that she looks on her as a parent, you as 
an enemy. However, don't despair ; if we can 
once gain an interview — and what say you ? 
Shall we go to the castle directly ? 

Mand. 'Twill be in vain. The gates will be 
9hut against us. 

Homo. Never mind ; we'll force them ©pen 
Come. 

B 



14 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

* Mand. Nay, but consider you are dependent 
on your uncle. 

How. No matter. The hope that the name of 
Howard may still be dear to him, who now has 
so much cause to curse it, makes me superior 
to all selfish thoughts. 

Mand. Is it possible ? You that have had a 
fashionable education ! you that have been 
schooled in all the arts of modern foppery, and 
foreign folly ! you to be the only one to pity or 
befriend me ! 

How. Why, the fact is, they tried hard to 
spoil me, but I wouldn't let them : they sent me 
all over the continent, before I'd been half over 
England ; taught me foreign languages before I 
knew my own'; instructed me how to pick my 
teeth all the morning in Bond-street ; yawn all 
night at the opera. But I was a bad scholar, 
Mr. Mandeville : and the satisfaction I feel at 
this moment proves I did right to educate my- 
self. Now then for Albina ! They may have 
perverted my head, but I assure you, they hav'n't 
corrupted my heart. [exeunt 



ACT II. 

soene I — a modern aliartment in thejcastle. 
enter verritas and Mrs. rigid. 

Mrs. R. Yes, yes: Albina already thinks me 
the best of women, and shall soon believe that 
you are the first of men. 

Ver. Granted : but about Howard—- Is she as 
fond of him as ever ? 



Act II] THE WILL. 15 

Mrs. R. No; she don't like him half so well 
as she did. Ever since he left Dover, I have 
been undermining him, and extolling you ; and 
in proof of my argument, Sir Solomon has just 
told her of Howard's intimacy with a game- 
keeper's daughter. This has roused her jea- 
lousy, her indignation. 

Ver. Indeed ! 

Mrs. R. Yes ; and as he has now lost her af- 
fections — 

Ver. I may soon win them : bravo, master 
Veritas ! you're lord and master often thousand 
a year ! 

Mrs. R. Ten thousand ? heyday ! have you 
forgot our agreement ? Please to recollect that 
on the day of your marriage with Albina, I am 
to receive half. 

Ver. Half? 

Mrs. R. To be sure. What other motive 
could I have for getting Mandeville disinherited ? 
Did not Albina gain the property through my 
management ? Did not I make a dupe of the 
grandfather ? 

Ver. You did. 

Mrs. R. And why do I give you my interest ? 
Why do I select you for her husband ? why, 
but because you are to give me a moiety ? 

Ver. Granted. We'll divide the fortune, and 
thus I seal the bargain, thus with a righteous 
kiss— 

Mrs. R. (drawing back) How ! is the man out 
of his senses ? Don't you recollect— 

Ver. I *do. I beg pardon— you're for the 
Platonic. 

Mrs. R. I am for the Platonic system, sir, 



16 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

and hitherto I have not suffered my lips to be 
profaned by man ! Never, sir ! not so much 
from fear of the consequences to myself, as 
from the danger in which it might involve all 
mankind. 

Ver. That's true philanthropy, Mrs. Rigid ; 
and the longer you persevere in your system the 
more our sex will be obliged to you. Ha ! here 
comes Albina. Pray, is she also for the Platonic ? 

Mrs. R. Sweet little innocent ! she has hard- 
ly sense enough to discriminate one passion 
from another. She is the most artless, lively, 
tender-hearted creature ! Look at her, cousin. 
Only eighteen. 

enter albina. 

Alb. Oh, governess ! I have been all over the. 
castle, looking at the rooms, the pictures, the — 

(seeing Veritas, she stofis) 

Mrs. R. 'Tis Mr. Veritas. You saw him at 
Dover, you know. 

Alb. So I did ; he was there at the same time 
Mr. Howard was. Oh, lord ! I'm so happy to 
see you, sir ! I am indeed. 

Ver. Granted. She loves me ! Poor pupil ! 
poor Howard ! {aside to Mrs. Rigid) 

Alb. That I am, because nowl shall hear some- 
thing about Mr. Howard, (to Veritas) Pray, 
Mr. Tutor — first we'll talk of his looks, if you 
please— -Is he as handsome now, as charming as 
ever ? 

Mrs. R. For shame, Albina! After what you 
have just heard from Sir Solomon, how can you 
condescend to name him ? Did not he tell you 
of his passion for a gamekeeper's daughter I 

Alb. He did ; but— 



Act II] THE WILL. 17 

Mrs. JR. What, miss ? 

Alb. That passion may be only Platonic, you 
know, governess ! 

Mrs. R. Look'ye : let me hear no more of 
Mr. Howard. If you mention his name again, 
I'll resort to my old mode of punishment ; I'll 
shew you I have not forgot the art of locking 
up, miss. 

Alb. There now ! I thought it would come to 
this : the owner of this immense castle will pass 
most of her days in one of the closets ! 

Mrs. R. No murmuring, but go directly with 
this worthy man ; walk with him to see the 
park, the plantations. 

Alb. Well, since it must be so, come, Mr. — 
Worthy. 

Ver. (aside to Albino) Mum ! I am not what 
I seem. When we're alone, I'll communicate. 
Cousin, we take our leave. 

Alb. Madam, good day. (going) 

enter sir solomon. 

Alb. Oh, Sir Solomon, you're the very person 
I wanted to see. Do you know, there's an old 
man in the hall, who says he was servant to my 
grandfather thirty years ; and now because his 
dogs killed a hare on your grounds, that he is 
dismissed from his place, and he and his family 
must starve. Dear ! if all your game is pur- 
chased at so high a price, I wonder you're not 
choaked ! 

Mrs. R. Go where I ordered you, miss. Sir 
Solomon and I have business. 

Alb. And, Sii*— Sir Solomon ! how came you 
to trouble yourself about Mr. Howard's love af- 

b2 



18 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

fairs ? I tell you what — I believe you're a great 
poacher, and if I catch you snaring any game on 
my manor — 

Mrs. R. Begone, miss ; begone directly. 

Alb. Well, I'm going, governess, I'm going. 
Come, Mr. Tutor ; and if we meet that poor old 
man by the way, I'll tell him he may kill ail the 
game on my estate ; and if that won't keep his fa- 
mily from starving, I'll bid him shoot all Sir So- 
lomon's. I have plenty of money, and I can't dis- 
pose of it better than in protecting an old fa- 
vourite of him who gave it me ! Come, good 
b'ye. [ Veritas and Albina exeunt 

Sir Sol. Urn ! there's the sex, there's true wo- 
man ! 

Mrs. R. I must watch her — -her disposition 
alters with her fortune. But, Sir Solomon, now 
we're alone, what is the secret you promised to 
communicate to me? 

Sir Sol. I'll tell you— Mandeville is arrived— 
I've seen him. 

Mrs. R. Seen Mandeville ! 

Sir. Sol. Not half an hour ago. He is now in 
search of his daughter. 

Mrs. R. Mandeville come home ! Mercy ! 
What shall we do ? Why, if he once gets hold 
of her, he'll persuade her to pay his debts, trick 
her out of the whole fortune. 

Sir Sol. I know it. He's a sad profligate ; 
and therefore do you lock up Albina, and I'll 
lock up Mandeville. We'll keep them apart, 
till she has got a husband to protect her. I'll 
go directly, and order Realize to take out a writ. 

Mrs. R. Will you ? 



,, 



Act II] THE WILL. 19 

Sir Sol. t will. Odsheart ! it was the wish 
of my life that Howard should marry Albina ; 
but his attachment to other women shows he is 
not worthy her affections ; and his now associat- 
ing with her father, proves he would waste every 
shilling of the property : therefore the sooner 
she marries Mr. Veritas the better. Adieu ! Go 
and lock her up. 

Mrs. R. I won't lose a moment. Ah, Sir So- 
lomon, if Mr. Howard had copied the example 
«f his uncle ! If, like you, he had never associa- 
ted with profligate men, or low-bred women ! 
•—You would not have fixed your affections on a 
game-keeper's daughter ? 

Sir Sol. Me ! Lord help you, how could you 
suppose such a thing ? {confused') 

Mis. R. I don't suppose it I know she is too 
unpolished, too illiterate— 

Sir Sol. Psha ! she's too young, too — too 
every thing. No, Mrs. Rigid, if ever I again 
become a slave to the tender passions, I should 
select a woman of your time of life, a woman of 
experience. Your young things take no pains 
to please a man ; they rely on their youth and 
beauty : but your middle-aged woman, she is so 
industrious ; she dresses at you, talks at you, 
glances at you — Oh, time makes women won- 
derfully dextrous in the art of love ! 

[exeunt : Mrs. Rigid ogling Sir Solomon 

scene ii— a garden. 

enter Veritas and albina. 

Ver. Ha ! ha ! ha ! I told you I was not what 
I seemed. It was very well to put on the mask 



20 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

of learning and gravity before Sir Solomon and 
Mrs. Rigid ; but now I'll pull it off, now I'll 
show you my real character. Bless you, I'm an 
honest fellow ! I'm a choice spirit, a buck of 
the first water ! 

Alb. And pray, sir, what a made a man of 
your gaiety become an usher ? 

Ver. You shall hear : I finished my fortune 
before I finished my education. At Westminster 
school- 1 found I could keep a curricle ; at Ox- 
ford I found I could keep a pack of hounds, and 
in London I found — I could not keep myself. 
So not wishing so much talent should remain in 
obscurity, I set up for tutor, in order to disperse 
my knowledge amongst the rising generation. 

Alb. Upon my word the rising generation is 
very much obliged to you. 

Ver. Nay : if I have not done much good, I 
have done little harm ; for with all my follies, 
of this you may be assured, I never did right 
without rejoicing at it, or wrong without repent- 
ing it. This is my history. And now to apply 
my talents to the right purpose, to love ! here's 
Mrs. Rigid. 

enter Mrs. rigid. 

Mrs. R. Cousin, a word, (takes Veritas aside) 
Mandeville is returned from India : he and 
Howard are now in search of Ubina; and if 
an interview takes place, we are undone. Go ; 
and if you find Mandeville, give notice to Real- 
ize, and he'll arrest him instantly. 

Ver. Arrest him I 

Mrs. R. To be sure. What does the man 
stare at ? have you any objection ? 



Act II] THE WILL. 21 

Ver. Why, I think when a gentleman comes 
a long journey— 

Mrs. R. Well, sir ? 

Ver. That a spunging-house is a bad sort of 
inn to put up at. 

Mrs. R. How, are you only half a sinner ? do 
you repent our bargain ? Mighty well, sir, 
mighty well ! A fine girl and five thousand a 
year isn't likely long to want a husband ; others 
may be found, sir — 

Ver. Granted : others may be found ; and five 
thousand a-year is not to be despised. Besides, 
I shall make amends by making her a good hus- 
band. So I'll swallow my scruples, and go di- 
rectly. Cousin, your servant. Miss Albina, adieu. 

\jxii 

Mrs. R. Albina, I beg you will instantly ac- 
company me to the castle ; and, for reasons 
which I will hereafter explain to you, I must 
request you to live in private, neither to pay nor 
receive visits. j 

Alb. Lord ! I know your reigns well enough; 
you want me not to see /Mr. Hfoward. Well, I 
do love him, that's th$ tnrtshX on't : but if he 
don't love me, what can I doyYou know ? No ! 
I had rather not see him^ 'tjyuft remind me of 
past happiness ; and if he\benshut out from me, 
the more private I live the Better. Come, I'll 
think of him no more. 

Mrs. R. Spoke like a girl of prober pride and 
exalted spirit. Now, all's safe. 

(as they are going, Howard enters") 

How. So, I've found you at last, Albina : I 
called at the castle, and the servants told me 
they had orders from Doctor Busby not to ad- 



22 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

mit me. — I beg pardon, Mrs. Rigid, I didn't al- 
lude to you, I didn't mean to call you Doctor 
Busby. 

Mrs R. None of your insolence, sir I Albina 
is no more willing to be troubled with your 
company than I am. 

Homo. Isn't she ? 

Mrs. R. No : you may hear your dismissal 
from her own mouth. Speak, child ; repeat to 
him what you imparted to me this moment. 

Alb. I can't. Do you speak for me. 

Mrs. R. Repeat it, I tell you ; show him you 
don't care for him : say you are all gaiety and 
cheerfulness : say so, I insist. 

Alb. Sir, sir, I am all gaiety and cheerfulness ! 
I'm so happy that — Oh, oh, oh ! (bursts into 
tears) I shall break my heart, that's what I 
shall ! 

How. So ! this is a new mode of being cheer- 
ful. 

Mrs. R. Ideot, baby ! call forth your pride : 
remember your rank, your fortune. 

Alb. Fortune ! what's the use of it, while an- 
other is heiress to his affections ? If the game- 
keeper's daughter will give me his heart, I'm 
sure I'll give her my estate. Oh, Mr. Howard ! 

(going uji to him J 

Mrs. R. (laxjing hold of her) This isn't to be 
borne ; come with me this moment ; stand out 
of the way, sir. Come, I command you. 

How. Hold ! (detaining Albina) It isn't on 
my own account I thus rudely detain you ; 'tis 
on your father's. 

Alb. My father's! 

How. He is arrived from India, unfortunate 
man ! — is now in the neighbourhood. 



Act II] THE WILL. ^ 23 

Alb. Is he ? We'll go to him directly. Come, 
governess. 

Mrs. R. Go to him ! arc you mad ? Why he'll 
ask you to pay all his debts. 

Alb. No, he won't : for I'll offer it long be- 
fore he can ask me. Come. 

Mrs R. Have a care: don't go near him: I 
know him to be so unprincipled and so desperate, 
that if you refuse to give him up your fortune, I 
shouldn't be surprised if he threatened, nay ac- 
tually took away your life. 

Alb. Took away my life ! Well, he gave it 
me, you know, governess ; and as to the fortune, 
that certainly ought to have been his. However, 
as I never did, nor never will disobey you, I'll tell 
you how we'll accommodate matters : Mr. How- 
ard will be kind enough to say that you won't al- 
low me to see him ; but that, as to money, 
lord ! he may have what he likes. 

Mrs. R. What he likes ? 

Alb. Ay : bid him draw for a good round sum 
at once, fifty thousand to begin with. And if 
that won't do — 

Hoiu. Oh, fifty thousand will do very well for 
a beginning ! won't it, doctor ? 

Mrs. R. Hear me, Albina. Would youundo 
yourself, and abandon me ? I who have horsed 
you, reared you, doated on you ? I wh< 
been a mother when he proved no father 
ungrateful girl, give all to him who forsojgit. you, 
and leave her who cherished you to stai^jM^nd 
die in a prison. ^ 

Alb. Die in a prison ! Leave my kind, good 
governess to die in a prison ? Oh lord ! I can't 
bear the thought of it ! (Mrs. Rigid iveefis ) 





; rairsed 
lolhave 

r ?• Go, 



24 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Nay : don't cry so, speak to me, pray speak ; 
Dear ! what was it she said, Mr. Howard ? 

How. She said you'd better give me the fifty 
thousand directly. 

Mrs. R. Millions cannot save a man so ex- 
travagant as Mr. Mandeville. This was your 
grandfather's opinion ; and he left you the estate 
solely to prevent his wasting it. And now would 
you fly in the face of your benefactor ? and for 
what ? Only because a faithless lover takes the 
part of a selfish parent, who, till you became af- 
fluent, never thought or enquired after you. 

Alb. That's very true — 

How. It's not ; it's false ! 

Alb. I know better, sir. But for this good 
woman, I might have starved, and I'm bound 
to fulfil the intentions of my dear grandfather ; 
and therefore — don't take on so, my dear go- 
verness, and I'll follow your advice in every 
thing — don't keep twitching me, Mr. Howard ! 
I shall do whatever she orders me. 

How. You will, will you ? 

Alb. Yes ; I act differently from you, sir ; I 
always obey my tutor, and I won't — 

How. And you won't skip a task, or go out of 
bounds, for fear of being whipped, hah ! Oh, 
the good child ! Oh, the pretty Miss Albina ! 
She shall have cakes and toys, and — Look'ye, 
give over this childish nonsense, and go with 
me to.ihe game-keeper's cottage- — 

Abb. The game-keeper's cottage ? 

How. (taking hold of her hcmd) There your 
father is concealed ; I left him under the care of 
Copsley's daughter, one of the kindest, best-dis- 
posed — - 



Act II] THE WILL. 25 

Alb. (taking away her hand J Go, sir, I'm 
satisfied, and I hate you, that's what I do : I 
hate you more than ever I loved you. Come, 
governess. 

How. Why, Albina, why ? 

Alb. I have as much pride as yourself, sir; 
and since you treat me with indifference, I shall 
treat you with scorn, with scorn, sir! Come, 
madam. 

How. 'Sdeath, what have I said ? 

Mrs. R. Quite enough, sir : go to your dar- 
ling rustic — go to your dear Mr. Mandeville ; 
and, by way of consolation, tell him that if ever 
you possess an estate— 

How. If ever I do, madam, he shall have it 
all. And I'll give it him, not so much from 
motives of benevolence as of prudence ; since I 
perceive that money can transform the most li- 
beral to the most selfish ; and she who, without 
a fortune, was all innocence, tenderness, and af- 
fection, is, in affluence, suspicious, credulous, 
and unfeeling — Farewell ! Mandeville has a 
child still ; for, while you are a slave to your 
governess, I'll be a son to your father. 

Mrs. R. This is your resolution, is it ? 

How. It is, most potent, grave, and reverend 
doctor ! \exit 

Mrs. R. Now, Albina, look at the advantages 
of a good education : how contemptible was 
Howard's conduct 1 how noble yours ! continue 
to behave thus, and you shall be indulged in 
every thing. 

Alb. Ah ! I wish you would indulge me, go- 
verness — there is a favour— 

Mr*. R. l,s there ? name it* 
C»3 



26 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Alb. Why, you already think me a good girl ; 
but if I could be quite positive about Mr. How- 
ard's inconstancy, I should be the very best girl 
in the whole world. 

Mrs. R. What, do you still doubt ? 
Alb. How can I help it ? How can I think so 
meanly of him or myself, as to suppose he 
would prefer a girl that's like— in short that I 
dare say is as unlike me as you are to Doctor 
Busby. Come now, as he's gone to the cottage, 
do let me follow him and be convinced. 
Mrs. R. Follow him ? 

Alb. Why not ? LoOk'ye, you and Sir Solo- 
mon say he is guilty. Very well ! if I find him 
so, I'll promise to marry the steward, the parson, 
or the birch gentleman, any, or all of them if 
you like. 

Mrs R. There's no doubt of his guilt, and this 
may complete her aversion ; therefore I'll let 
her go. {aside) Well, on these conditions, I've 
no objection. But how will you contrive ? 

Alb. Oh, he sha'n't know me ; I'll put on 
another dress. 

Mrs. R. Another dress ? 
Alb. Yes : I'll disguise myself as the little 
Red Riding-hood, Little John, little Pickle, or 
any other impudent character. Come, we'll set- 
tle that as we go along : and if I find him inno- ' 
cent, why you shall have one-half the estate ; 
my father the other; and I and Mr. Howard 
will live and die in the cottage, or any other 
retired spot you choose to point out for us. 

[exeunt 



Act III] THE WILL. 27 



ACT III. 

scene I— -view of open country , rh>er, cottage at 

a distance, Ifc. 

enter mandeville and Howard. 

Mand. Nay, nay ; blame not Albina ; blame 
the governess. 

How. Not; blame her ! Oh, if I look, or speak, 
or listen, or— 'sdeath you don't know half the fatal 
consequences of her unfilial conduct ! Sir Solo- 
mon has ordered Realize to arrest you : he and 
bailiffs are now in search of you ; and, unless 
you can instantly raise two thousand pound's, 
you'll be imprison'd. 

Mand. Well, I am resigned. 

How. So am not I. I hate a gaol ; and as 
I must follow you wherever you go, pray let us 
keep in the open air as long as we can. The 
fact is, there is no staying here without paying 
your creditors ; therefore let's adjourn to Lon- 
don : there we may do as we like. 
• Mand. Do as we like ? 

How. Ay : few people think of paying there. 
Why, if every man in London were to be ar- 
rested for the money he owed ! Mercy on us I 
there'd be more prisons than carriages ; more 
bailiffs than horses ; and men of fashion and 
dashing citizens would be the two rarest com- 
modities to be met with ! Oh, when a man is in 
debt, the capital is the place to lie snug in ! 
therefore let's begone directly. Stop though — 
have you any cash ? 

Mand. Not a guinea. Out of my pay as an 
officer, I could hardly save money enough to 
land me in mv native country. 



28 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

How. And I have not a shilling 1 ! and here 
we are two hundred miles from Hyde Park cor- 
ner, without two hundred pence to take us there. 
What's to be done ? Will Sir Solomon advance ? 
Not a halfpenny! Will the tutor? Notafarthing! 
Will Realize ? 

Mand. The steward ! he wouldn't give half 
a crown to save both our lives. 

How. Not half a crown to save our lives ! 
Come, come, you wrong him there ; I'm sure 
he'd give more to save mine. 

Mand. More to save yours ! from what mo- 
tive ? from benevolence ? 

How. No : from self-interest. He has an an- 
nuity on my life. The day I lose my existence 
he loses a hundred a-year; and though he 
wouldn't give a doit to save me from perdition, 
I think he'd pay half a crown to preserve his 
annuity. Look, here he comes : and now I think 
on't, suppose I try to get our travelling expen- 
ses out of him ? He is always enquiring after 
my health, and — 

Mand. 1 understand. I'll get out of the way. 

How. Do. Retire behind those trees — mum I 
Observe. {Mandeville goes behind trees) 

enter realize. 

Real. So, I've drawn out my forces to the 
best advantage : two of my officers are in am- 
bush near the castle, two are reconnoitering on 
the London road, and two — ha ! Mr. Howard I 
how d'ye do, Mr. Howard ? 

How. Hem ! (coughing and stuffing his hand- 
kerchief into his mouth) 



Act III] THE WILL. B9 

Real. Have you seen any thing of Mandeville ? 
I've two writs out against him, one on my own 
account, the other on Sir Solomon's ; and if 
you'll tell me where he is — {Howard coughs 
loudly) Why, what's the matter with you ? 
That's an ugly cough. 

How. Ugly ! it's frightful, it's — hem ! Oh, 
Mr. Realize, I'm very ill. 

Real. Ill ! You were very well yesterday, and 
the day before, and every day since you came 
from your travels. 

How. That's it : I didn't mention it before, 
Mr. Realize, for fear of distressing you ; but, 
during my travels — Ough ! ou ! ou ! {coughing 
violently) I slept in the Pontine marshes ; and 
the pestiferous dews so inflamed my lungs, that 
ever since — Hoop ! oop ! '^coughing) I shall die, 
that's certain. 

Real. Die ! Impossible ! Die ! I've an annuity 
on his life ! Oh, curse those Pontine marshes ! 

How. It's all Sir Solomon's fault. If he'd let 
me follow the doctor's advice, I should save my 
life, and you your annuity. But avarice, Mr.— ■ 
ava — Oop ! — hem ! I'm a dead man ! 

Real. You're not ! Now pray live ! I'll take it 
as a favour if you live. My dear Mr. Howard, 
what did the doctor prescribe ? 

How. Change of air and Bristol waters. 

Real. Bristol waters ! 

How. Yes, sir ; and because I can't raise mo- 
ney to take me there — Oop !— because Sir Solo- 
mon won't advance a few pounds-— 

Real. I'm to lose a hunclred a year. Oh, the 
hard-hearted savage ! Why, I'd better give the 
money myself. I will. Here, >lr. Howard, (taking 

c 2 



30 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

out a fiurse) I was always of a humane disposi- 
tion, and so here's thirty — Hold, though, are 
you sure the Bristol waters will cure you ? 

How. Certain. The detergency of the atmos- 
phere; the absorbency of the chalybeate; the 

ponderosity of Hau ! au 1 — I'm convulsed ! 

Support me, lay hold of me ! (in his convulsions 
he lays hold of the hand in which Realize has the 
fiurse) So, let me go : I'm better now — thank'- 
ye. (takes away his hand and the fiurse with it) 

Real. Better ! 'Gad, no wonder at it. The dose 
you've taken is more likely to do you good than 
detergency, absorbency, or all the doctors and 
apothecaries in Europe ! However, a hundred 
per annum is worth thirty pounds, or the devil's 
in it ! So keep it, and good bye to you. Hark'ye, 
though, if you see Mandeville, don't say I've 
placed bailiffs on the London road. 

How. I wont. Good bye. I hope I shall mend 
for your sake, Mr. Realize. 

Real. I hope you will. But if you do not, if 
you find you grow worse, write me word you 
are coming home full of health and spirits, and 
I'll go directly to Sir Solomon, talk of the good- 
ness of your life, and sell him the annuity at a 
premium. That will be punishing him for his 
stinginess, and paying me for the dose of physic 
I've given you. Farewell! keep yourself warm, 
and success to the Bristol waters. Oh, curse 
those Pontine marshes. \jxit 

How. O bless them, I say. Ha, ha, ha ! I'm 
cured of my cough now— Hem ! (clearing him- 
self) Come forth, Mr. Mandeville. (Mandeville 
re-enters) Come and congratulate your friend 
on the recovery of his health. Look : will you 
go to Bristol ? 






Act lllj THE WILL. 31 

Mand. No : to London. 

How. Not yet ; there are enemies on the road. 
We must wait till the pursuit is over ; and, as 
I know no safer place than Copsley's cottage, 
let's return there instantly. Let us go sit and 
rail at the governess and Albina. 

Maud. Never. I must still think she is my 
daughter, and hope the time may come when she 
will imitate her mother's virtues. Oh, Howard, 
you should have known Amelia : she had a heart 
as generous as your own : like you she gave up 
all for a distressed, unhappy— 

How. Nay ; no more melancholy now, Mr, 
Mandeville. How can a man talk of distress, 
when he sees he can raise thirty pounds the mo- 
ment he wants it ? A slight cough and a short 
convulsion will be at any time a bank note to us. 
So now for the cottage ; and over a jug of old 
Copsley's October, let us drink " Confusion to 
our enemies and the Pontine marshes, and suc- 
cess to ourselves and the Bristol waters." 

[holding uji a purse and exeunt 

scene \i~-a forward landscape. 

enter albina, in the uniform of a lieutenant of 
the navy, Mrs. rigid and realize. 

Mrs. R. We won't detain you a moment, Mr. 
Steward. Only show us the way to Copsley's 
cottage, and you may return to your pursuit of 
Mandeville. This young gentleman, Mr. Her- 
bert — 

Real. Herbert ! Pray is this one of the late 
Mrs. Mandeville's nephews? 



:,2 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Alb. I am, sir. I am the first cousin of Miss 
Albina, sir ; of that much wronged and most 
beautiful creature, sir. I am lately come from 
sea, and have been in so many fiery engagements 
that I don't know whether I am alive or dead, 
sir ! 

Real. Po, po ! nonsense ! (fiuts on his specta- 
cles and looks close at Albina) You been in fiery 
engagements ! pooh ! 

Mrs. R. Come, come ; Mr. Realize is too 
well acquainted with every part of the family to 
be imposed upon ; and therefore we may as 
well trust him at once. It is Albina : she has 
put on this disguise to detect Mr. Howard in his 
love affair with the gamekeeper's daughter. 

Alb. Yes, sir ; with that little coarse, tann'd 
— Show us the way, sir ; I know Mr. Howard 
is now at the cottage. 

Real. Do you ? That's very good. Love af- 
fair too ! ha, ha ! I wish you could prove your 
words. 

Alb. Why, sir? 

Real. Because it would have saved me thirty 
pounds. Why, poor gentleman, he is not in a 
state to make love — 

Alb. How, sir ? 

Real. No ; the Pontine marshes have played 
the devil with his lungs, and he is gone to drink 
the Bristol waters. 

Mrs. R. Gone to Bristol ! When ? 

Real. Now, this very moment. 

Alb. Which way ? How did he go ? 

Real. How ? Why, he went with my money. 

Mrs. R. Psha ! This is all an imposition ; all 
a contrivance of Howard's to avoid detection-. 



Act III] THE WILL. 33 

Lead on, sir ; I'm sure his lungs were sound 
enough two hours ago. 

Real. Well, have it your own way : I only 
wish I was as sure of keeping my annuity as 
that you won't find him at the cottage. No, 
and what's more to the purpose, that you find 
somebody else there. 

Mrs. R. Somebody else ! Whom, sir ? 

Real. No less a gentleman than Sir Solomon 
Cynic. Not ten minutes ago I saw him hovering 
about the spot, like an old kite over a brood of 
chickens. 

Mrs. R. Why, the man's mad. Sir Solomon 
make love ! Show us the way, I insist, sir. 
Come, child. 

Alb. Dear ! if after all, the old woman-hater 
should turn out to be the real poacher ! if he 
should, governess, I'm sure you won't any longer 
forbid me the sight of Mr. Howard. 'Tis cruel 
to sport with the affections of a lover ; and in 
the words of the old song, let me remind you— - 

SONG. 

If 'tis joy to wound a lover, 

How much more to give him ease ! 

When his passion we discover, 

Oh, how pleasing 'tis to please ! 8cc. [exeunt 

scene in — a room in Cofisley's cottage ; birds of 
firey fiainted on the wall ; a recess, with several 
trusses of straw in it ; before recess an old 
green curtain, jiartly broken down ; a table and 
two chairs ; basket with ajifiles ; jug of ale and 
small mug. 

sir solomon discovered kneeling to cicely. 

Sir Sol. Oh, you loveliest of all creatures ! 
When I railed at the sex I did not know you : 



34 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

you have converted me ; your charms have made 
me a proselyte, and here I swear, here in this 
low submissive, suppliant— Wheugh ! (whistling 
with fiain) This it is to be out of practice ! My 
knees are so unaccustomed to the office, that I 
believe I'd better get up while I'm able ; (rises) 
So, come, I'll give you a toast, my little cherub ; 
(goes to the tableland takes up, a jug of ale) Here's 
Cupid, victorious Cupid ! 

Cic. Lord ! you're so gallant, Sir Solomon I 

Sir Sol. Gallant ! I have more requisites for 
a lover than any man since the days of Mark 
Antony. I can write sonnets, throw glances, talk 
nonsense, tell lies, sing, dance— no, hang it, I 
can't dance ; if I could, I shouldn't be compelled 
to drink " Confusion to all dancing-masters !" 

(drinking) 

Cic. Well ; but, your honour, I hope my poor 
father will be restored to his situation ; I am so 
unhappy — 

Sir Sol. I see you are, and I know the cause. 
Take comfort, I'll give you love for love. But 
how shall we meet ? how carry on our amour in 
a snug, private, pastoral way ? how shall I steal 
to you unnoticed and unseen ? And now I think 
on't— zounds ! I hope nobody's observing us — 
if I should be found out, if / should be detected 
in an intrigue ! 

Cic. An intrigue, sir ? 

Sir Sol. Hark'ye : to make all safe, we'll go to 
London. There we may make assignations with- 
out being talked of or interrupted. 

Cic. (with anger) Indeed ! 

Sir Sol. Yes. There half the town are playing 
at the same game : but here in the country, if 



Act III] THE WILL. 35 

one gets a sly kiss, the whole village is sure to 
hear the smack of it. So Marybone is the mark, 
a new house and smart liveries ; a curricle and 
a pair of greys ; a piano-forte and a lap-dog — 
and you shall go by another name. 

Cic. What, shall I change my name ? Oh, sir ! 

(curtsies very low) 

Sir Sol. To be sure ; you shall no longer be 
called Cicely Copsley. 

Cic. Shall I be your wife ? Oh, dear ! (with 
great joy ) 

Sir Sol. My wife ? 

Cic. Shall I be lady Cynic ? 

Sir Sol. You lady Cynic ! you my — ha, ha, ha ! 
Why, my dear girl, you misconceive ; I wish to 
intrigue myself; I don't want to be the cause of 
intriguing in others : marry you ! Lord help 
you, I wouldn't take such a liberty, (knocking 
at the door J Hah ! what, who's here ? 

Cic. Heaven knows ; perhaps my father, per- 
haps Mr. Howard, perhaps — 

Sir Sol. A dancing-master ! Oh, you sorce- 
ress, you've lured me here to expose me. 

Howard, (without) Holloa, Copsley, Cicely ! 

Sir Sol. Howard's voice ! mercy on me ! if 
you don't get me off, I'll have your father hang'd 
— I'll— -here — I'll go into this room. 

Cic. Stop, that's my chamber : here, sir, go 
into that place, (pointing to the recess) and I'll 
draw the curtain before you. Quick, quick. 

Sir Sol. This is my first amour these twenty 
years : and if ever I come near a petticoat again 
may Cupid fly away with me ! (he enters recess 
and sits on a truss of straw) So, draw the cur- 
tain. 



36 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Cic. I can't : you see it's broken down, and 
— Dear, dear, how shall I fasten it ? 

Sir Sol. Here, here, my cane has a sword in 
it; (draws the sword out of the cane, and gives 
it to Cicely) If there's a cranny in the wainscot, 
run this through the curtain; if not, run it 
through my body. (Cicely gets ufion a chair and 
runs the sword through the curtain, which supports 
it) Oh, woman, woman ! destructive, damnable, 
deceitful woman ! (Sir Solomon is concealed, and 
Cicely opens the door) 

enter mandeville and Howard. 

How. (holding the door open and looking out) 
Look out, look out, I tell you : 'tis Realize and 
the governess ; and by their coming this way, 
I fear you are discovered. Hush, observe. 

Mand. I do ; and see, the young naval officer 
is advancing towards the cottage ! 

How. So he is : we must avoid him. 

Albina. (without) " The stormy main, the 
wind and rain." (singing) 

How. Ah, you chirruping scoundrel ! I tell 
you what, we had better step into this apartment, 
and let Cicely get rid of him : mind, nobody is 
here, Cicely. That a naval officer ! pooh ! don't 
you see through his disguise ? 

Mand. Disguise ? 

How. He's a bailiff: can't you discriminate 
between the navy and the law, between a sea 
officer and a sheriff's officer ? I know by the 
rascal's impudent swagger that he's a bailiff. 
Here he comes ; mum, retire. 

r , exeunt at the opposite dovr 



Act III] THE WILL. 37 

(inter albina in the uniform. 

Alb. {spying and walking round the room) 
" The stormy main, the wind and rain ["(singing) 
I don't see Mr. Howard*-— " My ardent passion 
prove !" He's concealed somewhere, I suppose. 
" Lash'd to the helm" — (goes up to the curtain) 
He's here ;-— " Should seas o'erwhelm" — 
"> Cic. (stopping her) What do you Want, sir ? 

Alb. " To think of thee, my love !" (trying to 
undraw the curtain) 

Cic. (pulling her away) There's nobody there, 
sir. 

Alb. Then they're here ; " And think of thee, 
my love ! " (goes towards the door) Perhaps, af- 
ter all, he is really gone to Bristol ; and his lungs 
are so much out of order, (trying to often the 
door, and finding it locked) Lock'd ! where's the 
key ? Oh, oh, (stoops down) I see him through 
the key-hole. Oh, you barbarian ! (Cicely-tries 
to pull her away) If you toucn me, you little 
vulgar thing, I'll cut you into atoms. I see you, 
Mr. Howard. (hollaing throjugh the key-hole) 

Cic. Sir, I beseech you-— / 

Alb. (trying to pull the door open) Oh, if I 
could but get at him ! Come out, sir, or I'll pull 
the door — (shaking it violently) 

enter Howard. 

How. Well, sir, what do you want, sir ? what 
have you to say ? 

Alb. Say, sir ! I'm glad, your lungs are better. 

How. (standing before the door) My lungs ! 
Ilark've, sir, if vou want Mr. Mandeville — 

D 



38 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Alb. I want you, and only you, sir ; my name 
is Herbert, I am first cousin to Albina ; and if 
you don't instantly fall on your knees, and ask 
pardon for the insults you have put upon her, 
I'll make you a companion for that wild goose, 
I'll run you through the body, and pin you 
against the wall — 'slife, now I look at you, I 
wonder what she could see in your ugly face to 
be so fond of you. 

How. I'm glad it's not a bailiff, however, {aside) 
Sir, if you are that lady's cousin, I must inform 
you she isn't worth my pity, or your resent- 
ment. She is neither faithful to her lover, nor 
affectionate to her father ; in short, sir, I thought 
her a child of nature, and I found her a Becky. 

Alb. A Becky ! 

How. Yes : a Becky, sir : and till she reforms 
her conduct, not all the fighting men in Europe 
shall make me alter mine. This is my determi- 
nation, and so you may tell her, good Captain 
Bobadil. 

Alb. Bobadil! 

How. Yes : Bobadil may tell Becky— 

Alb. Draw, sir. (Jiulls out her sword) 

Cic. Hold, I entreat you, what is the cause — 

Alb. You. Come, sir. (flourishing her sword) 
■Cic. Me? 

Alb. His love for you is the cause. Sir Solo- 
mon told me of his falsehood, and now — 

Cic. Sir Solomon told you ? — Oh ! base, slan- 
derous man ! Love never brought Mr. Howard 
to our cottage. No : he came from a far better 
motive, to bring money to my father, to relieve 
the distresses of his family : and, with gratitude 
1 speak it, he has already saved us from ruin. 



Act III] THE WILL. 39 

Alb. Indeed ! 
"- Cic. Yes : but for him we should have 
perished ; and, as a proof that I wasn't the ob- 
ject of his affections, often and often have I 
heard him say, that Miss Albina was the girl of 
his heart, and that he never would or could love 
any other. 

Alb. (smiling) Oh, did you say this, Mr. 
Howard ? 

How. You have heard my determination. I 
will not be teased with interrogatories. 

Alb. (going up to him) Nay, don't be so 
hasty, Mr. Howard. Consider, if Sir Solomon 
has deceived me — 

How. 'Tis now too late, sir : your visit, her 
partiality for her perfidious governess, and her 
neglect of a too liberal parent, are all, all so dis- 
graceful, that, if ever I love again, depend on't 
Albina won't be the object. 

Alb. (sharply) She won't ! Who will then, 
sir ? 

How. W T ho, sir ! 

Alb. Ay, who, sir ? will this little, coarse, in- 
sensible peasant ? 

How. Insensible! look him in the face, Cice- 
ly : (taking her hand) tell him you would die 
to serve your father ; and ask him if Albina 
would shed a tear to save hers. 

Alb. He presses her hand ! let it go, sir ; if 
you value your life, take away your hand, sir. 

How. Why ? she deserves it as much as your 
cousin. 

Alb. I can't bear it, take it away ! Then say 

your prayers, for you hav'n't a moment to live. 

(poking at him with her sword) 



40 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

How. Keep off, sir, you see I've no arms. 

Alb. No arms ! that's a poor evasion, coward ! 

How. Coward ! Oh, that I could find a wea- 
pon ! is there no poker, no knife, no — ha, what 
N do I see ? a sword ! Now, villain ! 

Cic. Hear me, sir, don't touch it, for Heaven's 
sake ! 

Alb. Hear her, sir, don't touch it, for Heaven's 
sake ! 

How. Thus I expose folly and deception I 
(pulls out the sword that supports the curtain, 
it falls , and Sir Solomon is discovered sitting 1 on 
one truss of straw, with others around him J Ex- 
pose folly and deception indeed ! 

Alb. He's innocent, he's innocent ! Oh, How- 
*ard ! 

How. What, the old woman-hater turned 
poacher ! ha, ha, ha ! Why, uncle ! 

Alb. Why, man of straw ! ha, ha, ha ! Look 
how the old fox squats in the stubble ! Come, 
(handing him out) what have you to say ? 

Sir Sol. Nothing. I'll go home and read Pa- 
radise Lost. 

How. And curse Cupid and Mark Antony. 
And now, sir, (to Albina) what have you to say ? 

Alb. That I sincerely ask your pardon : that 
I see you have been slandered, cruelly slandered. 
And if Albina was before partial to you, she shall 
now esteem you more than ever. Will you for- 
give me, sir ? I'll tell her all that has passed, 
every thing — no, I wont tell her you called her 
Becky. You don't call her Becky now, do you \ 

Mrs. Rigid, {without) Mr. Herbert ! Mr. Her- 
bert ! 

Alb. You hear I'm called, sir : do we part 
friends ? 



Act III] THE WILL. 4i 

How. We do : I'm satisfied. 

Alb. And I needn't mention Becky ? 

How. No, no. 

Alb. Then, let my governess say what she 
w ill, Howard is the husband for Albina ! [aside) 
Farewell, sir, we shall meet again. Cicely, 
there's money for you. And, Sir Solomon, the 
next time a game-keeper catches one of your 
hares, don't snare one of his daughters, and 
make him starve for it into the bargain. And 
also, to cover your own poaching practices, 
don't slander an innocent gentleman. If you do, 
I'll chain you to your bed of straw, depend on't. 
Adieu, Mr. Howard. 

"Lash'dto the helm, should seas o'erwhelm, 
I'll think on thee, my love." [exit 

Sir Sol. Sir, you may smile, and chuckle, and 
triumph ; but I'll be revenged on you and Mr. 
Mandeville yet. I know he is in that room. I 
saw him sneak in there ; and while Realize se- 
cures him, Veritas shall secure Albina I'll 
overtake Mrs. Rigid, the-match shall take place 
this very night ; and then, sir — 

How. Nay ; why should you fret ? Upon my 
soul, I think you're a very lucky fellow— if you 
had not been in the straw, somebody else might. 
You understand ? 

Sir Sol. I do : and I've plague enough with 
nephews without wishing for children to tor- 
ment me. Let me go, let me follow Mrs. Rigid. 
(Cicely sto/is him) Out of the way, jilt, sorceress, 
Jezabel ! or, to sum up all in one emphatic 
word-— out of the way, woman ! \_e.Scit 

Mand. Qieejiing) Is the coast clear ? 
d 2 



42 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Howard (opens the door,and enter Mandeville) 
Well, have you heard what has passed ? 

Island. I have. I perceive this is no longer a 
place of safety ; and what's worse, that Albina's 
marriage is to take place this very night ! Is 
there no way to break it off ? Consider, for her 
own sake, for yours, for mine, we should pre- 
vent it, if we can. 

How. Prevent it ! how ? 

Mand. Have you no influence over the tutor ? 
Has he no sense of honour ? 

How. Why, if it be true, that " wine draws 
forth the natural disposition of the heart," Ve- 
ritas has still some virtue ; for over a bottle I've 
seen him display most excellent qualities. I'll 
go to him ; I'll try to delay, if not break off, the 
marriage. In the mean time you shall take re- 
fuge in the uninhabited part of the castle. 
- Mand. Why there ? ^ 

How. Because it is supposed to be haunted ; 
and Realize and his followers won't come there, 
for fear of seeing the devil before their time, 
you know. Come, while I go to the tutor, Ci- 
cely shall show you the place. Oh, you little 
gleaner, if 1 had known that straw contained 
such weighty heads of corn amongst it, how I 
would have thresh'd it ! I'd have laid my flail 
about its ears, till I had beat every grain of pre- 
judice out of it, and made the old woman-hater 
acknowledge, 

That let us rail at women, scorn, and flout them, 
We may live with, but cannot live without them. 

Yexcunt 



Act IV] THE WILL. 43 

ACT IV. 

scene i — a modern afiartment in the castle. 

enter Howard and Veritas. 

How. What, Veritas turn'd flincher I Come, 
one more bottle, my boy. 

Ver. I tell you I've had enough. I'm going 
to be married ; and would you have me get 
drunk before the ceremony's performed ? 

How. To be sure : would a man marry in his 
sober senses ? Come, though we're rivals, don't 
let us be enemies ; though you've cut me out 
with Albina, I bear you no ill will. Do let us 
part friends. Come, one more bottle. 

Ver. I would, but you know my failing, 
George : wine makes me so cruelly sentimental, 
it overflows my heart with sympathy, runs out 
of my eyes in streams of sensibility ; and when 
I'm no longer myself, I'm so moral and so 
honest. 

How. So you are. When you're not yourself, 
you're a damn'd good sort of fellow. 

Ver. Granted : I'm never so upright in my 
conduct, as when I can't stand on my legs 1 
Then wine always makes me speak truth; and 
if I don't take care, I shall tell you at this mo- 
ment, that I am a scoundrel, that the governess 
is another, and that Albina — Good night, 
George. After the wedding's over, I'll reform 
and be a six-bottle man. But now, spare and 
pity me. 

How. Pity you ! why ? 

Ver. Because I'm going to behave like a vil- 
lain. 



44 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Honv. You're not: I'll prevent you. 

Ver. 'Tis too late : the dark deed is on the 
eve of execution. Albina's locked up in the old 
baron's chamber — the lawyer has prepared the 
settlement — the parson has got the license, and 
— Damnation! what am I about — I shall confess 
every thing— good night ! 

How. Here's my uncle and the governess ! 
What can it all mean ? look'ye, Veritas, if some 
new act of villany is in preparation, do you think 
I'll suffer my old fellow-traveller to be concerned 
in it ? No : I have too much regard for your 
honour ; and I know you are so apt to repent — 

Ver. I am ; and the wine converts me already. 
I'm a fair penitent ; and so let's go and drink 
whole oceans — And yet, George, I don't like to 
lose Albina : she is the only woman I shall ever 
love. 

How. Nonsense ! you've only drunk one bot- 
tle, and therefore there's only one Albina. 
Drink another, and there'll be a thousand Albi- 
nas ! Come along, my fine fellow, and if wine 
will make you moral, dam'me but you shall 
drink honesty by hogsheads ! \_exeunt 

enter sir solomon and Mrs. rigid. 

Mrs. R. Don't tell me, Sir Solomon. Is she 
to be my mistress, or am I to be hers ? Talk 
of marrying Howard, and refusing Veritas, only 
because you were uncurtain'd at the game-keep- 
er's cottage. I wish you had never gone there, 
with all my heart. 

Sir Sol. So do I, with all my soul. But you 
misconceive : I don't oppose the marriage ; I 
only object to the manner of wooing. I don't 
like using force. 



Act IV] THE WILL. 45 

Mrs. R. Why not, sir ? If entreaty fail, why 
shouldn't force be employed ? Isn't it as much 
her interest to marry a man of honour as it is 
my duty to prevent her being united to a pro- 
fligate ? 

Sir Sol. That's true. 

Mrs. R. And hasn't Mr. Veritas both your 
promise and mine ; and would it be honourable 
to break our word with him ? No ; I say once 
for all, she shall be his wife this very night, 
She is now locked up in the baron's chamber ; 
and if she refuses, there she shall be imprison- 
ed till she complies. She shall have no com- 
panions but ghosts and spectres, no food but 
bread and water, no bed but straw. 

Sir Sol. Straw ! there I must intercede for 
her : that's so bad a resting-place, that the 
very thought of it will spoil my night's sleep 
to a certainty. However, there is much rea- 
son in what you say ; and if she won't select 
a good husband, we must choose one for her. 
So if the parson, the lawyer, and the tutor, are 
ready, I'll join the party; and we'll proceed to 
the baron's chamber in a body. 

Mrs. R. Spoke like yourself, Sir Solomon. 
Stay, wait here a moment, while I go and pre- 
pare them. And if she dare be refractory — 

Sir Sol. Refractory ! why a tutor and a go- 
verness would alone terrify a girl of her age ; 
but backed by a lawyer and a parson — Gad, I 
should like to see any body stand up against so 
formidable a quartette (exit Mrs. Rigid) I am 
glad of this. Now Howard will lose Albina, 
Mandeville will lose the estate, and the tutor 
will be rewarded for his integrity and sobriety, 



46 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

(noise without) Bravo, here they come, and all in 
high spirits for the enterprise. 

enter Howard and Veritas, arm in arm, drunk. 

How. Come along, pupil ; come along, ho- 
nesty. Uncle-— how are you, uncle ? Give me 
leave to introduce to you — a fair penitent ! 

Sir Sol. Why, how did you get into the castle ? 
Who invited you ? 

How. My pupil here. Speak, suffering saint. 

Sir Sol. Out of the way, sir. I'll hold no 
conversation with drunkards and buffoons — I'll 
talk to men of sense and gravity. Veritas, give 
me your hand. 

Ver. Granted. 

Sir Sol. And now let me give it to Albina. 
Puppy, will you be eye-witness to the marriage ? 
Will you behold this worthy man take possession 
of your idol and ten thousand a year ? 

Ver. Look'ye, king Solomon — 

How. Ay, mind, king Solomon. 

Ver. If I thought Albina loved me, I'm so 
brimful of benevolence, that I'd take her with- 
out a guinea ; but to marry her against her in- 
clinations ! to use force, to — I tell you it's a 
damned rascally transaction. And if you and 
the governess would get as drunk as I am, 
you'd be as much ashamed of it as I am. So 
drink, drink, and reform. 

Sir Sol. I drink ! 

How. Why not, uncle ? there's as much vir- 
tue in wine as in women ! (Sir Solomon holds 
up, his cane to strike him, Veritas interposes) What, 
have not you had enough of that cane ? that 
pinner-up of old curtains. Pooh, I don't value 



Act IV] THE WILL. 47 

it a straw, not a straw. So come, pupil ; you've 
made your speech. And now let's adjourn to 
the inn, and drink more draughts of morality. 

enter Mrs. rigid. 

Mrs R. All's ready, all's prepared, Sir Solo- 
mon. Howard here ! Why, cousin, (going u/i 
to Veritas) 

How. (stofifiing her) Softly, doctor Busby, 
you won't let me speak to your pupil, therefore 
you must not talk to mine. He's a good boy, 
and you may corrupt him. Keep off. 

Mrs. R. They're both intoxicated : Heaven 
defend me. Why, Veritas, are not you ashamed ? 

Ver. Not a bit. There's some apology for 
drunken honesty, but none for sober villany. So 
drink, drink, and reform. 

How. Stick to your bottle, Doctor. l In vino 
Veritas !' (sings) 

Ver. Come, George. 

Mrs. R. Come ! Why, would you leave me 
at this moment ? now, when Albina is locked 
up, when the lawyer and the clergyman are wait- 
ing ? What shall I do ? 

How. Do ? Tell the two black gentlemen to 
strike out the name of Veritas in their papers, 
substitute mine in its place, and I'll return and 
marry Albina in half an hour. No, I won't mar- 
ry her. Till she's a good daughter, shesha'n't 
have a good husband. So come, my boy, now 
for the inn. I say though, isn't it a long way ? 

Ver. Long ! No ; when a man's drunk, it 
isn't the length. 

How. True ; it's the width. Farewell, most 
amiable, most Platonic pair. " To wine I flew 
to ease the pain !" (both sing) 



48 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Ver. Farewell, king Solomon ! 

How. Good b'ye, Doctor Busby. " To wine I 
flew," &c. [exit with Veritas 

Mrs. R. Amazing ! what does it mean, Sir 
Solomon ? has Howard corrupted him ? 

Sir SoJ. He has ; and now I'm decided : they 
shall neither of them enter my doors again ; and 
as for Mandeville, I'll make an example of him 
directly. I have traced him from the cottage to 
the back part of the castle : he is now concealed 
amongst the ruins ; and I'll go order Realize to 
lay hold of him this very moment. In the inte- 
rim, do you take care of Albina. 

Mrs. R. Oh, she's very safe. I have placed 
Deborah, a steady old servant, as a guard over 
her ; and the haunted chamber shall be her 
abode till we find a new husband for her. Good 
night, Sir Solomon. I couldn't have thought 
that Mr. Veritas would have turned out such 
a — But it's a strange world ; and we have lived 
so long in it, that nothing ought now to perplex 
or surprise us. 

Sir Sol. Nothing ever surprises me ; and such 
are the changes of this whirl-about life, that 
though your system is Platonic love, and mine 
no love at all, yet I shouldn't be astonished if 
we were to become man and wife, and be as 
happy a couple, Mrs. Rigid, as — No, hang it, 
that would surprise me indeed ! 

[exeunt severally- 



Act IV] THE WILL. 49 

scene II-— an old gothic chamber, with doors at 
each wing ; in the fiat another door ; over it is 
the portrait of a man in armour ; a state bed. 

ALBINAj still in the lieutenant's uniform, disco- 
vered writing, deborah, waiting. 

Alb. Deborah, do take your hand from the ta- 
ble, Deborah : you shake it so, I can't go on 
with my letter. " Dear Mr. Howard," (writing) 

Deb. Lord, miss, isn't it midnight ? and aren't 
we alone in a haunted chamber ? 

Alb. Haunted ! foolish nonsense. I suppose 
you've been prying into those new romances 
the governess bought for me, all about abbeys, 
skeletons, rusty daggers, fat monks, and fainting 
nuns. Pooh, it's all very well to frighten chil- 
dren ; but for such grown-up misses as you and 
I, Deborah — Oh, we're not afraid of the dead, 
nothing but the living frightens us. So sit fast 
in your chair. And now for the letter, " JDea£ 
Mr. Howard^ theyVe locked me up in an unin- 
habited part of the castle, and placecf an olcJL 
mastliFover jn^pXthe castle cTdc'frsTfik'es one) 
—ffelK There, he's coming. 

Alb. Who's coming ? 

Deb. The baron, the baron ! 

Alb. What baron ? 

Deb. Why, in days of yore, an old Norman 
baron was murdered in that bed ; and ever since, 
when the castle clock strikes one, that door is 
sure to open, (pointing to it) and in he stalks in 
black armour. 

Alb. Does he indeed ? Well, I shall be very 
glad to see him ; and that we may have a full 
view of him, do snuff the candles. 

E 



50 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

-*Deb. Snuff the candles, miss ? 

Alb. Ay, let's see what he's made of, Deborah. 
~~Deb. (in her fright snuffs out one of the candles) 
I saw the picture shake ; and that's a sure sign 
the baron is approaching. 

Alb. So it is. I'll frighten her away if I can. 
{aside) Hark, don't you hear the rattling of ar- 
mour ? 
.-neb. I do. 

Alb. And the clanking of chains ; and the 
screech-owl, and the ravens, and the cats, and 
the mice ? and — don't you hear me, Deborah ? 
— Deb. I do. Oh, lord ! the governess may come 
and watch you herself. I won't stay to be 
hacked to pieces. 

Alb. Hush, the door opens ; and there he is 
as black as Beelzebub. O, dear, my courage 
fails me. Go to him, Deborah, and while he 
makes mince-meat of you, I shall have time to 
run away. Pray do, Deborah. 
-rDeb. Not I : Heaven protect you ! 

[ex it, frightened 

Alb. Ha, ha, ha ! what an old coward it is. 
Now nothing ever makes me tremble, nothing. 
O yes, the very thought of Howard makes me 
so nervous— heigho ! I'll proceed with the let- 
ter : (sits and writes) " and placed an old mas- 
tiff over me," — a pretty mastiff indeed !— " be- 
cause I won't marry the tutor. But I am a girl 
of such pride, such spirit, such fortitude, Mr. 
Howard,"^C(^e report of a pistol is heard) 
What's that ? a pistol at this time of night, and 
so near me ! Lord ! it's very alarming. Who 
can it be ? Oh, it's the poachers firing at the 
game. Psha, what a fool I was. Hem, (sits and 



Act IV] THE WILL. 51 

writes) " I am a girl of such pride, such spirit, 
such forti— "%noise of forcing open a door) Well, 
(noise again') somebody's forcing the door ! he's 
coming ! the baron's coming. \t noise again) Oh, 
dear, I'll run away, (tries to o/ien the door De- 
borah went out at, but finds it fastened) Oh, she 
has locked me in : Deborah, Deborah ! (runs 
and hides herself behind the bed) 

(the door is burst open, and mandeville enters 
with a pistol in his hand) 

Mand. Life isn't worth the struggle. How- 
ard hadn't left me an hour amongst the ruins of 
the castle, when Realize and his followers came 
up with me. I remonstrated in vain. They 
seized me ; and seeing no other mode of extri- 
cating myself, I fired my pistol in the air, and 
the cowards vanished. Here perhaps I may 
rest in safety, (sits down and puts the pistol on 
the table) How, a light ! I thought this part of 
the castle had been uninhabited. Sure nobody 
observes me. Ha, the curtain moves. One of 
the villains has pursued me. Is there to be no 
period to their persecution, (pulls forth Albino) 
Mark me, sir, return to the agent who employed 
you. Begone, directly, or this pistol — 

Alb. Oh, lord! Deborah, Deborah !— 

Mand. No noise : begone this instant. (Albi- 
na retires up) Stop. Come back. You may 
betray me to your curst associates : therefore re- 
main. Sit down, (forces her into a chair) Stir 
not, look not, breathe not. 

Alb. I won't. Deborah, Debo — 

Mand. Hush, or by heaven — Stay, sure I 
should know that face. Speak, do you not re- 
collect me ? 



52 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Alb. No ; but I shall never forget you. 

Mand. 'Tis the youth who came to the cot- 
tage. 'Tis Herbert ; and no doubt is on a visit 
to his cousin. Curst infatuation ! I'm doomed 
to be a torment. Sir, I've been mistaken ; and 
know too well the pangs of apprehension to 
wish to inflict it on others. Pray, pray, pardoir 
me. {taking her hand) 

Alb. True flesh and blood, I declare. I'm 
better now. I may breathe again, I suppose. 
Ooh, ooh ! {breathing violently) So you're not 
an apparition then, you're only a robber ? 

Mand. Robber ! Sir, I have been — Well, well, 
it concerns not you ; else I could tell you that 
the steward of this mansion, this reptile Realize, 
who was about to make a prisoner of me, and to 
whose persecution you owe my present intru- 
sion — oh, in the lifetime of his master, the late 
too unsuspicious Mr. Mandeville, he would not, 
no, he dared not e'en have frowned upon me. 
But I have done, I've already been the cause of 
much uneasiness to you ; therefore, good night. 

Alb. Stay, I must hear more. Did you know 
Mr. Mandeville, sir ? 

Mand. Know him ! 

Alb. Why are you so agitated,* sir? If you 
knew him, perhaps you also know his unhappy 
son. 

Mand. I do indeed. And if I dare reveal to 
you — but I must not trust you, you are a friend 
of the governess. 

Alb. I am : but I am also a friend to the un- 
fortunate. Come, you had better trust me, I 
have great influence over Albina ; and since you 
are the friend of Mr. Mandeville, I'll persuade 



Act IV] THE WILL. 53 

her to satisfy this steward — {Mandeville shakes 
his head) Nay, if you think she has not a com- 
passionate heart, you don't know her, indeed 
you do not. 

Mand. She ought to be compassionate. Her 
mother had a heart o'erflowing with benevolence, 
and her father— but he — he is forgotten, de- 
serted. 

Alb. Poor man : I often think of him, often 
shed tears over his misfortunes. Where is he ? 
Might I behold him ? {Mandeville weeps) Nay, 
if you knew all, perhaps I have more cause to 
weep than you have. 

Mand. You cut me to the soul. I can't sup- 
port it. Let me begone. 

Realize, (without) This way, the rascal's this 
way. 

Mand. My persecutor again : what's to be 
done ? 

Alb. Stay where you are ; it's his turn now. 

enter realize and two servants. 

Real. There he is ; seize him, secure him, 
while I go for officers of justice. You'll pop at 
us like so many partridges, will you ? {servants 
hold Mandeville) Keep him tight ; and now I 
may safely say my troubles are at an end. 

Alb. {meeting him) Rather say, your troubles 
are going to begin. Unhand that gentleman. 
Let him go, I insist, (servants leave Mandeville) 
And now, Mr. steward, a word in private, if you 
please. (Mandeville retires up) You recollect 
me ? 

Real. To be sure I do. 

Alb. Then hear me, sir, I'll pay what he owes. 

E 2 



54 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Real. You pay ! 

Alb. Yes, I'll pay. Can't you understand me ? 
Go, sir ; and for the future don't disgrace your 
employers by acts of cruelty and oppression. 
Why ar'n't you gone ? 

Real. Urn ! before I obey the young lady, I 
must have orders from the old one. You'll ex- 
cuse me ; but you're not your own mistress, you 
know, my dear. 

Alb. No. But I'm yours, you know, my dear. 

Real. You're not. The governess is my mis- 
tress. Pooh, you've no will of your own. 

Alb. No, but I've a will of my grandfather's ; 
and if you don't instantly release this gentleman, 
I'll discharge you from being my steward, my 
steward, do you hear that, sir ? What does he 
owe ? 

Real. Why, he owes me and Sir Solomon 
above fourteen hundred pounds ; and do you 
think either of us will be content with the se- 
curity of a minor ? No, no, we'll have the mo- 
ney down. 

Alb. So you shall. Take it. 

Real. Take it ! Where ? 

Alb. Out of my grandfather's money. 

Real. Pshaw, he didn't leave so much cash 
behind him. 

Alb. Didn't he ? then he left houses, lands, 
and woods. So go, sir, go cut down a wood di- 
rectly. 

Real. Cut down a wood ! 

Alb. Ay, sir, and if that won't raise the sum, 
cut down another, and another. It will improve 
the prospect, and gratify Albina with the finest 
view in the world, that of seeing an unfortu- 



Act IV] THE WILL. 53 

nate man made happy, (turning to Mandeville 
and taking his hand) 

Real. Here's a promising young heiress. 
Without the aid of a fashionable husband, she'll 
lay waste more wood in an hour than her grand- 
father planted in his life-time. 

Alb. What, not gone yet ? I'm out of all pa- 
tience, (takes up the pistol) Go, sir. Begin 
lopping and chopping with your own hands, 
or this pistol — 

Real. What a devil it is ! Come, William, 
come, Gregory, we'll go and send the governess. 

Alb. What's that you say, sir ? Mind me, if 
you repeat one syllable of what has passed, this 
pistol shall prove more fatal to you than the 
Pontine marshes. It shall make as large a hole 
in your lungs as the Bristol waters have in 
your pocket. Go, dotard, quick, quick, (fol- 
lows Realize and servants to the door with the 
pistol, and forces them out) So, between swords 
and pistols I've had a pretty hot day of it. 

Aland. How am I to thank you, sir ? Till now 
I had but one friend, one only friend ; and he in 
poverty has proved so generous. Oh, if you 
knew — 

Alb. I wish I did know him, sir. Whoever 
he is, if he has been kind to you, I'm sure I shall 
esteem him. Come, though you won't mention 
your own name, you may trust me with his. 
Who is your friend ? 
„ Mand. Howard. 

Alb. Howard! has he, has Mr. Howard been 
kind to you ? 

Mand. He has been my companion, my bene- 
factor. He has displeased his family to assist 
«e ; and, what afflicts me more than all, on my 



56 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

account, I fear, he has offended the lady he most 
loves. 

Alb. Indeed ! And pray, who- — not that it's 
any affair of mine, but pray, who is the lady he 
most loves ? 

Mand. Who should it be but Albina ? His 
hand, his heart, his life is at her disposal. 

Alb. His life ! she mustn't let him die then. 

Tell him so, Mr. Dear ! I wish I knew your 

name. You say you are the friend of Mr. Man- 
deville, the friend of Mr. Howard; can't you con- 
fide in me "Ijtnoise of unlocking the door) Some- 
body's coming. The steward has betrayed us. 
What shall we do ? I'll stand before and hide 
you. (places herself before Mandeville) 

enter deborah. 

Well, Deborah, what do you want ? 
""Deb. The steward has been with Mrs. Rigid. 
She is suddenly taken ill; and desires I'll bring 
you to her own room directly. Why, what's 
that ? somebody is behind you. 

Alb. Hush, it's the baron. 
""Deb. The baron ! 

Alb. Don't be frightened. He speaks highly 
of you ; and though I told him it was impossible,, 
he swears he'll make an angel of you. 

Deb. Don't, pray don't let him. 

Alb. Well, he sha'n't, he sha'n'tmake an an- 
gel of you. Turn your back, and I'll lay him. 
(Deborah turns round) You see I must leave 
you at present, (to Mandeville) But as I cannot 
rest till I know more of your story, don't leave 
the castle, I entreat you. Go into that room ; 
and, that nobody may molest you, allow me to 



Act IV] THE WILL. 5/ 

lock you in: and, when I return — will you trust 
me when I return ? 

Maud. Most readily. 

Alb. Good night. Nay, what have you to 
thank me for ? Realize meant to make you his 
prisoner ; and now I've made you mine, that's- 
all the difference. Adieu. (Mandeville shakes 
hands with her, and exit at the door ; Albina locks 
the door and /tuts the key in her fiocket) Deborah, 
he's gone, Deborah ! (hitting Deborah on the 
back ; who trembles violently) 
—Deb. Is he ! Which way did he go ? 

Alb. Through the key-hole; and now we'll 
go too. Poor gentleman ! I'll return to him as- 
soon as I can ; for I feel interested for him be- 
yond description. Lead on, I'll follow thee ! 
And oh, Mr. Howard, my dear Mr. Howard, 
your friendship for him, and love for me, prove 
you to be a man of such taste and discrimination, 
that, if you don't forgive me, and make me your 
wife, why I'll live and die— a bachelor, [exeunt 



ACT V. 

scene i — a garden, 
enter albina in her own dress. 

Alb. I can neither sit, stand, nor walk. I can only 
bite my fingers, beat the devil's tattoo, and sing 
broken stanzas of despairing songs. " Ah, well- 
a-day, Ah, lack-a-day !" Dear, now I only ask if 
my governess oughtn't to be ashamed of herself ? 
Without giving any reason, she has ordered me 



58 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

to pack up, to set out for Dover, and leave the 
castle and Mr. Howard for ever. I begin to hate 
her, that's what I do. Sir Solomon too, I hate 
him : I hate all old people. I wish they'd go to 
heaven, and leave us young ones to manage the 
world by ourselves. 

enter deborah. 

<**Deb. Miss, miss, the carriage is at the door, 
the postillions are mounting, the horses are pran- 
cing, and Mrs. Rigid is out of all patience. 

Alb. Well, I'm coming. Deborah, what is the 
reason — nay, don't turn your back upon me, 
don't take me for the baron, Deborah. Why 
are we to leave the castle so unexpectedly ? 

~~Deb. I don't know : but I believe it's all owing 
to what the steward told her. Come, be quick. 
See now, here's Sir Solomon come to fetch you. 

enter sir solomon, a letter in his hand. 

Alb. Sir Solomon, I know what you're come 
for. You mean to force me away from the castle. 

Sir. Sol. I force you ! 

Alb. I never disobeyed my governess in all my 
life, but now— 

Sir Sol. 'Tis high time to begin, I think. Go, 
madam, (to Deb.) tell Mrs. Rigid, Albina sha'n't 
go to Dover. 

Alb. Not go to Dover? 

Sir Sol. No. You sha'n't stir from your own 
house ; or, if you do, it shall only be to mine. 

Alb. What, will you stand up lor me, Sir So- 
lomon ? 

Sir Sol. To be sure I will. This letter has 
opened my eyes, it proves the governess to be 



Act V] THE WILL. 90 

the worst of hypocrites ; and therefore from this 
hour you shall be your own mistress. 

Alb. School's up ! school's up ! 

Sir Sol. Why arn't you gone, Madam? Do 
you think I'm not fit to be her champion ? Ods- 
heart! though I'm not able to manage young 
women, I'll show you and your mistress I can 
be a match for old ones. 

Alb. I'm my own governess now ! — go, get 
along, Deborah ! — \jiushcs her out~\ — oh, Sir So- 
lomon ! if you were my grandfather, I could not 
be more grateful. 

Sir Sol. Read, read that letter I—I'm sorry 
to damp your joy, Albina. 

Alb. What, does it bring bad news ? 

Sir Sol. The worst in the world. — read, read I 
'tis written by Veritas. 

Alb. (reads) " Sir, I am so thorough a peni- 
tent, that I cannot be happy till I have made a 
full confession of my bad intentions towards Miss 
Albina Mandeville. The truth is, I bound my- 
self in an agreement with the governess to give 
her half the Mandeville estate on the day of my 
marriage. And here, sir, here was the cause of 
the much-wronged Mr. Mandeville's ruin. To 
obtain this property, Mrs. Rigid gave out that 
he remitted no money for the support of his 
child, though to my knowledge she received a 

hundred and fifty pounds half-yearly." Sir 

Solofiqon ! 

Sir Sol. Go on. 

Alb. ("reads J "This story so convinced the 
late Mr. Mandeville of his son's inhumanity, 
that he died disinheriting him, and Albina lives 
to neglect the best of parents." (drofis the letter) 
I can't read any more ; oh, my poor father ! 



60 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Sir Sol. You have for your excuse youth and 
inexperience, but I to be such a dupe. 

Alb. Where is he? where is my father? 

Sir Sol. There again, there's another bad bu- 
siness: he's nowhere to be found. Even How- 
ard knows nothing of him ; for I met him just 
now half distracted, saying Mandeville had gone 
from the place where he left him, and, pursued 
by his enemies, had fled either to London or the 
continent. He called me a savage, you another. 

Alb. And well he might. Let's go after him^ 
we'll search the world over but we'll find him ; 
come, we'll hire all the horses, servants, and 
carriages in the county : we'll fly, we'll— -aw, 
aw ! here's the governess : do you speak to her, 
for I can't. 

enter Mrs. rigid. 

Mrs. R. Sir Solomon, how dare you counte- 
nance my pupil in disobeying my orders ? come 
along, Albina; be a good child, and go with 
your best friend. Why, what's the matter with 
you ? what does the girl make faces at ? speak, 
are you ill. 

Alb. No. (very loudly ) 

Mrs R. Heyday, do you know whom you're 
talking to ? 

Alb. Yes. (loudly) 

Mrs. R. Fie, fie, sir ! teach a girl to insult 
her mother, (to Sir Solo?no?i) 

Alb. Fie, fie, madam ! teach a girl to desert 
her father. 

Mrs. R. What ? 

Sir Sol. (turning- her towards him) Where 
are the letters Mandeville wrote from India? 

Alb. (turning her towards her) Where is 
the money he sent for my support ? 



ActV] THE WILL. 61 

Mrs. R. Peace, you little insolent ! 

Sir Sol. (turning her J Where is the agree- 
ment between you and the tutor ? 

Alb. (turning her) Where are a parent's af- 
fections, a lover's heart ? 

Mrs. R. Silence, or I'll so chastise you — 

Alb. You chastise me ! the threats of my fa- 
ther or Mr. Howard would frighten me, because 
they're good people, and injured people ; and if 
you had behaved well, I had been still afraid of 
you. But now — oh, I wish I had a rod, I'd pay 
you off old scores, that's what I would : come, 
Sir Solomon, let's leave her. 

Sir Sol. Ay, let us seek out the wronged, the 
honest Mr Mandeville. 

enter realize. 

Real. He's not to be found ; Mandeville's not 
to be found ; and I shall not only lose my two 
hundred pounds, but shall also be tricked out of 
my annuity; for yonder's Mr. Howard running 
about like a madman ; and he swears, if he don't 
find him, he'll put an end to his existence, (seep 
Albino) Oh, ho ! now we shall get information 
'—your servant, Miss, or rather Master, Albina. 

Alb. Sir! 

Real. Who's governess now ? Didn't I tell 
you last night this lady was my mistress ? {Jioin- 
ting to Mrs. Rigid) 

Alb. You did. 

Real. And isn't she— isn't she my mistress? 

Alb. If you like it. If you prefer serving her 
to me, I'm sure I've no objection. So I give 
you warning, and appoint the game-keeper your 
successor. Copsley shall be steward to the 
young ladv* Mr. Realize to the old one. 

F 



62 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Real. Copsley become steward ! why gover- 
ness — mistress ! 

Alb. Have you cut down that wood, sir ? — oh, 
dear ! that puts me in mind — I declare, Sir Sol- 
omon, I had quite forgot — there is a stranger 
now at the castle, who can very likely give us 
intelligence about my father. He told me he 
was his friend ; and he is such a kind, tender- 
hearted creature ; we'll go there first — come. 

Mrs. R. Albina ! 

Real. Miss Mandeville ! 

Sir Sol. There, madam, read that letter; and 
if you wish to avoid the most exemplary punish- 
ment, lookout all Mandeville's letters, and bring 
them to my house directly. You, also, sir, bring 
your keys and papers at the same time. Go this 
moment ; and while Albina's at the castle, I'll 
wait your coming. 

Real. Sir Solomon ! 

Sir Sol. No reply, sir. 

Real. If I'm to lose my place, I hope I'm not 
to lose my money. There's Mr. Mandeville's 
debt, two year's salary, and a trifle due from 
Mr. Howard for the Bristol waters : he coughed 
me out of a dose of physic worth thirty pounds, 
sir. 

Sir Sol. No trifling; begone, sir! Mrs. Rigid, 
you know my determination. 

Alb. Stay, this is the last time I shall ever 
see her ; and I can't bear to leave her so unhappy. 
Governess, though I am a much greater object 
of pity than you are, yet if my father will for- 
give you, I'm sure I will. At all events, while 
I have money, you shan't want ; adieu. 

Mrs. R. (zvecfiing J Farewell ! 



Act V] THE WILL. 63 

Real. Psha ! what signifies crying ? you see 
I'm not affected : nothing- ever excites my sen- 
sibility but the touch of a guinea; and, thanks 
to my stewardship and the annuity trade, I've 
saved enough to retire and live as a gentleman 
ought to do. And so, with many thanks for 
favours past, your servant, young lady and old 
gentleman. Come along, governess ; I shall 
want a house-keeper, and since you can't be my 
mistress, I'll be your master, [exit with Mrs. R. 

Sir Sol. Ah, you two hypocrites ; begone 1 
oh, Solomon, Solomon ! you ought to have known 
that a woman was at the bottom of all this mis- 
chief. Come, I'll see you to the castle, and 
then — 

Alb. I say, Sir Solomon, if we meet Mr. How- 
ard by the way, I hope you won't let him kill 
me! 

Sir Sol. Kill you ! why ? 

Alb. I know he'll be monstrous desperate. In 
a* good cause I've a good heart; but in a bad 
one, oh, lord ! Deborah is a lion to me. 

Sir Sol. Never fear ; I'll stand by you : and to 
prove I can be a protector, without being a poa- 
cher, I'll not ask even a kiss, till I have delivered 
you safe into your father's hands; no, and then 
I won't trouble you unless you particularly de- 
sire it. Come, I have given all that up for life ; 
and I shall die, as I have lived, a bachelor. 

Alb. Don't, I hate bachelors; I wish there 
was a tax upon them. 

Sir Sol. There ought ; for 'tis a luxury, I pro- 
mise you. \exnni( 



64 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

scene iv—the Baron's chamber. Table remain* 
ing, with pistol^ &c. 

enter Howard 

How. Not here, either ! iiowhere to be found! 
what can have become of him ? Veritas detain- 
ed me longer than I intended ; and when I re- 
turned to the ruins, Mandeville was gone ; think- 
ing, no doubt, that, like the rest of his unfeeling 
friends, I had forgotten and deserted him. I am 
the most unhappy fellow living ! (sits^ his hand 
accidentally falls on the pistol ) What's here ? a 
pistol ! oh, heaven ! he couldn't be so despe- 
rate. How ! the initials of his name upon the bar- 
rel ; it is too evident ; he has destroyed himself, 
and died, suspecting Howard of ingratitude. I 
shall not long survive him ; oh, Mandeville, Man- 
deville ! 

Mand. (within) Howard, Howard ! 

How. What voice is that ? speak ! 

Mand. 'Tis I ; 'tis your friend ! 

How. He is living! (tries the door) Nay, if 
'twere adamant, I'd split it into atoms ! (forces 
it open) 

enter mandeville. 

How. (embracing him) My dear fellow ! the 
next time you kill yourself, don't leave your 
instrument of death behind you. The initials 
on this barrel make the worst memento mori I 
ever read. 

Mand. Kill myself! how you misconceive, my 
friend ; I took refuge here to avoid Realize ; and 
meeting young Herbert, he protected me, and 
locked me in that apartment. 



Act V] THE WILL. 63 

How. Did he ? did Bobadil protect you ? 

Mand. He was most kind to me ; and pro- 
mised to make Albina kind to me. I wonder 
he's not returned : 'tis a long time since he left 
me. 

How. Oh, he has a very slippery memory; 
the young coxcomb promised to make Albina 
kind to me ; and I've never seen nor heard of 
him since. However, to show you how very 
likely he is to keep his word with either of us, 
Albina by this time has left the castle, and gone 
to Dover. 

Mand. Gone to Dover ! 

How. I saw the carriage at the door an hour 
ago. 'Sdeath ! it's only lost time to think of her 
or Herbert ! so, let us go to London— let us es- 
cape while we can. 

Mand. Well, be it so. 'Tis plain I am for- 
gotten ; and therefore I, like Albina, will bid 
adieu to the castle for ever. And while she hur- 
ries to scenes of gaiety and happiness, her father 
shall—no, while I have yourfriendship, Howard, 
I ought, and will defy misfortune, (noise of door 
ojiening) We are interrupted : let us return to 
the chamber, (exeunt at the door Mandeville 
came from) 

enter albina. 

Alb. Oh, dear, I'm such a coward ! coming 
up stairs, I thought I heard Mr. Howard's voice 
in this room ; and I dread his reproaches, and 
his triumph, and his anger so much, that I'd 
rather see the old baron himself: oh, it's all 
fancy ! he's not here, so I may open the door, 
and venture to talk to my prisoner. Heigh ho ! 

f 2 



66 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

the sight of people one has injured is so dread- 
ful, that I do believe, if Mr. Howard — ( she ofie?is 
the door) 

enter ho ward. 

Oh ! h I h ! (screams, and falls in his arms) 

How. Holloa I what's the matter ? 

Alb. (recovering) Nothing ; I'm better now ; 
I thought — 

How. Well, what did you think? 

Alb. 1 thought you had been the old baron ; 
but I see — I see — (stealing away from him by 
degrees) good bye, Mr. Howard. 

How. Your servant. 

Alb. There ! I said so : I knew he'd be des- 
perate. Good bye, sir ; I'm going; don't you 
see I'm going ? 

How. Going ! why ar'n't you gone ? 

Alb. So I am; I am gone. Nay, you needn't 
be quite in such a hurry, sir. 

How. I am in a hurry ! I can't waste my time 
on dolls and kickshaws, (turns his back to her) 

Alb. Oh, I was sure this would be the case! 
what shall I do ? I've a great mind to take cou- 
rage — to summon up all my resolution, and go 
boldly within ten yards of him. (she advances. 
Howard turns andfrowns at her ; she is frightened, 
and stops. He turns his back again, and she goes 
nearer to him) Lord 1 he takes it very quietly : 
I'll go closer. So ; I dare say if I were to touch 
him he wouldn't bite my head off. Mr. Howard ; 
how d'ye do, Mr. Howard ? (jiulls him round 
gently) 

How. Keep off ! or — 

Alb. Indeed I'm very sorry— -I know I've be- 
haved very ill ; but it was the governess's fault. 



Act V] THE WILL. 67 

and not mine. Pray now, forgive me : look, on 
my knees I entreat you ; forgive me this once, and 
I'll be such a good, dear, darling girl ! I'll be 
your slave — your doll— your kick — (Howard 
smiles, arid Album jumps up) Oh, he smiles ! 
you're a good-natured creature, Howard ! ha, 
ha ! (smiles, and looks in his face) 

How. I don't smile. 

Alb. You do ! you do ! 

How. I say I don't ! and hark'ye, if I were 
weak enough to forgive you on my own account, 
how, how would you apologize for your unnatu- 
ral conduct to your father ? 

Alb. I'll show you ; look ! (takes a paper out 
of her pocket) 

How. What's that paper ? 

Alb. My grandfather's will ; look ! (smiling) 

How. What ! do you make a display-— do you 
boast of your ill-gotten wealth ? hear me ; (lays 
hold of her hand with great emotion) The tutor 
has confessed — 

Alb. I know it. 

How. That Mr. Mandeville— that my friend 
remitted money from India— 

Alb. I know it. 

How. That the governess — that your friend 
concealed his letters — 

Alb. I know it. 

How. Then how dare you insult me with this 
ill-timed triumph ? one word more and we part 
for ever : no chuckling ! listen ! (taking her hand 
with great violence) if your grandfather had 
known these facts, would he have disinherited 
an affectionate son, only to adopt an unfeeling 
daughter ? would he not have destroyed that 
testament ? 



68 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Alb. To be sure he would ; and as he can't do 
it himself, won't I do it for him? there, and 
there, and there ; (tearing the will) I'm my own 
mistress now ; and I think I can't do greater 
honour to my grandfather's memory, than by de- 
stroying an instrument that he would now blush 
to sign, and I forever be ashamed to profit by. 

How. Are you— how handsome she looks !— 
are you convinced ? 

Alb. I am: I hate my governess as much for 
her unceasing enmity to my father, as I envy 
you for your exalted friendship towards him : 
oh, Mr. Howard ! do you think he'll ever for- 
give me ? I'm going in search of him ; but, 
if you should be so fortunate as to see him be- 
fore me, pray tell him that things are now what 
they ought always to have been ; he is the pos- 
sessor of the Mandeville estate, and I have no- 
thing but what results from his bounty. Fare- 
well ! 

How. Stay, 'tis my turn to kneel now ; {kneels) 
oh, you angel ! (rises) Mandeville ! come forth, 
Mandeville ! there is no longer any cause for 
concealing yourself. 

enter mandeville. 

Look at her; look at Albina, your much-abused 
daughter ! she has parted from her governess ! 
she has torn her grandfather's will ! she has — 
damn it ! why don't you speak to her ? joy choaks 
me ! I'm dumb. 

Aland, (embracing her) My child, my child ! 

Alb. My father! 

Mand. Have I at length a recompense ? oh, 
Howard ! did I not say the time would come — 

How. Why will you speak to me, when you 
know I can't answer vou ? 



Act V] THE WILL. & 

Alb. Will you forgive me, sir? can you for- 
get— 

Mand. Forget ! I never blamed you. And 
at this moment your mother's virtues shine out 
so brightly in your conduct, that I could wish 
that will were still in force. I want not now 
my father's wealth to make me happy ; my child, 
my long-lost daughter is restored to me, and I 
am blest, and rich beyond my hopes. 

enter sir solomon, copsley, and cicely. 

Sir Sol. Come, Albina, 'tis time to proceed 
on our journey. What, Mandeville ! Howard ! 
all together ! all reconciled ! tol de rol lol ! 

How. So you're come to play the governor. 

Sir Sol. Not I. I've been as great a fool as 
any of you. I thought Mrs. Rigid a divinity ; 
but I've found out she's a woman : Veritas has 
converted me. I'm a fair penitent now, Howard. 
Mandeville, you have deserved better treatment ; 
give me your hand ; George, give me yours : 
and now, my little fellow-traveller, give me the 
kiss we talked of; no, hang it, 'twill be only 
distressing you. 

How. Nay, Sir Solomo^ if it will give you 
any pleasure, I'm sure it will give me no pain. 

Sir Sol. Arch rogue ! now, I'll take it by 
proxy, on purpose to be revenged. There, 
George, try how you can bear it. (Howard kisses 
Albina) So, does it give you much pain ? well, 
what say you, Mr. Mandeville ? how shall we 
punish these two culprits ? shall we inflict ma- 
trimony, or separation ? 

How. Oh, matrimony, by all means ! don't 
you think so, sir ? {to Mandeville) 



i :• I 



70 THE WILL. [Reynolds 

Mand. I do indeed. The day that gives Al- 
bina such a husband, and makes me father of 
such a son as Howard, must be the proudest 
and happiest of my life. 

Sir Sol. Say you so ? then take her, George, 
and if the marriage state can afford happiness 
however, we won't talk of impossibilities. 

How. Now, Albina, will you ever talk of Cice- 
ly again? 

Alb. Will you ever call me Becky again? 

How. Becky 1 

Alb. If you do, I'll make you a companion 
to the wild goose in the cottage. " I hope your 
lungs are better, sir ? *' (reminding him by her 
•voice and attitude) 

How. What ! were you Bobadil ? were you 
the little smart, well-made lieutenant ? 

Alb. I was young Herbert, sir ; and I bless 
the disguise, not only for convincing me of the 
sincerity of my lover, but also for introducing 
me to my father. I hope you don't blame me, 
sir ? (to Mandeville ) 

Sir Sol. He blame you ! no : Howard has 
most reason. What will your husband say to 
your strutting about in boy's clothes ? 

How. Say ! that I w/sh all women would wear 
the breeches before Carriage, instead of after- 
wards. / 

Co/is. Oh, madatn, how shall I thank you ? 
you have saved me and my family from ruin, 

Cic. You havei madam ; and we are all grati- 
tude. 

Alb. This is your benefactor ; you are to thank 
mgi/athe-r, not me. If you wish to do me a fa- 
vour, why there is one — 
T* Cic. Oh, name it, madam ; name it ! 



& 



Act V] THE WILL. 7 1 

Alb. Why, it rather concerns Sir Solomon 
than myself. Pray be kind encmgh to have the 
old curtain repaired, lest he should again wish 
to take cover behind it. And likewise, do send 
me some of the straw : 1 mean to be married in 
a straw hat, and I'll have one manufactured out 
of Sir Solomon's stubble. 

How. One ! we'll have a dozen ; and our chil- 
dren shall wear them, in honour of their great- 
uncle's gallantry ! 

Sir Sol. Gallantry ! psha ! I've something bet- 
ter to think of than women. 

How. Indeed you have not. Come, come, 
uncle, rail at the sex as much as you like, you 
must confess that life is a blank without them ; 
and the gaming-table, the bottle, and the sports 
of the field, are all so many substitutes— sha- 
dows ; woman is the true substance, after all ; 
and, compared to her, all other objects are as 
the glow-worm to the sun : it may dazzle the 
sight, but it can never warm the heart ! don't 
you think so, Albina ? 

Alb. I do indeed. Women are certainly most 
superior creatures ; and, if by accident they have 
any faults, men ought not to see them — at least, 
I hope that will be my case to-night. I have 
done and talked a great many foolish things : 
but having their hands and full pardon, (stand- 
ing between Mandeville and Howard) let me 
have yours, and Albina will be the happiest of 
wives, and the most grateful of daughters. 



"END OF THE WIT/I.. 



9 



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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



014 527 166 6 



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